<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Through The Years by littlelous</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29088537">Through The Years</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlelous/pseuds/littlelous'>littlelous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>One Direction (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Amusement Park, Basically just cute, Best Friends, Blue And Green Are Very Prevalent Colors LMAO I Had To, Childhood Friends, Childhood Friends to Lovers, Cuddling, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluffy, Football, Friends to Lovers, Friendship Bracelets, Growing Up Together, Harry Supports Him, Idiots in Love, Louis Supports Him, Louis plays football, M/M, Roller Coasters, Roomates, School, Sharing a Bed, Skateboards, Slow Burn, Snuggling, Takes Them A While To Confess, Through the Years, childhood bullies, domestic bitches, getting over fears, hand holding, harry plays guitar, kind of slow burn, not much angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2018-01-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 11:49:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>30,653</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29088537</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlelous/pseuds/littlelous</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Louis have been best friends for their entire lives. They've been at each other's side for absolutely everything. They're two little peas in a pod, inseparable from the other. Slowly, they begin to realize that maybe there's more than just a strong friendship between them.</p><p>*</p><p>The title of this fic is very literal, as in the story begins with them as toddlers. Basically, you get to watch them grow up together and figure things out. Hope y'all enjoy!!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>65</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Childhood</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi! Thank you so much for choosing to read my work, I really hope you like it! Basically, I got bored during quarantine and wanted to write something really fucking fluffy, so here we are! Obviously, all of this is fictional. Also, I'm from Texas so I decided to base the amusement park mentioned a few times off Six Flags because, well, it's the best. Alright enough from me, ENJOY! :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Louis — 1996</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Lou, come on! They’re waiting for you!”</p><p>Pulling on his red coat, Louis came running out of his room, moving his little legs as fast as he could to get down the stairs.</p><p>His mum stood by the front door, talking to Harry’s mum, Anne. Behind Anne’s legs, Louis could see the little boy hiding shyly, watching him. The nest of curls on his head blew around wildly in the chilly autumn air.</p><p>A toothy grin spread across Louis’ face as he waved at the boy. Slowly, Harry stepped out from behind his mum and waved back. He was always shy in the beginning of their playdates.</p><p>“Oh, good, you’re here." His mum said, bending down to fix the collar of Louis' coat. "You have fun, alright? Be careful! And don’t be a menace, young man," she warned, hugging Louis goodbye. Louis nodded, promising he’d be on his best behavior. He couldn’t <em>believe</em> his mum was letting him go to the amusement park without her, and he wasn’t about to make her change her mind.</p><p>Louis stepped out the door, walking up to Harry.</p><p>“Hi, Haz!”</p><p>Harry blushed, nervously looking down at his feet. “Hi, Lou,” he mumbled, kicking at a stone on the pavement. Louis knew he wasn’t being mean, he just got a little nervous sometimes. His mum had told him that some kids just weren’t as excitable as Louis was.</p><p>Once Anne had the two of them strapped into their car seats, Louis couldn’t stop raving on and on about how excited he was. As predicted, Harry slowly warmed up, acting less shy and even piping into the conversation every so often.</p><p>The two boys had always been like that. Louis was loud, overly excited, extremely hyper, whereas Harry was shy, much more passive. It took him longer to get comfortable around people. Louis was older, so he took great pride in watching over Harry at all times, never letting the boy get in a situation where he felt uncomfortable. He’d always wanted a brother, and he found one in Harry.</p><p>Anne and Louis’ mum had been best friends since university. The Tomlinson’s and Styles’ had practically become one. When Anne had announced that she was pregnant and it was a boy this time, Louis had been ecstatic. He was going to have his very first best friend! Almost everyday, he would beg his mum to take him over to the Styles’ house to check on how Anne was doing, to see how his new best friend was.</p><p>It had been the longest nine months of Louis’ barely even eighteen month life.</p><p>Then, Harry had been born, and Louis never wanted to let the boy out of his sights. He was the cutest, sweetest baby, and Louis just <em>knew</em> that they would be friends forever.</p><p>From then on out, him and Harry had been inseparable. They went to daycare together, took family vacations with each other, they saw each other nearly every day. They were two peas in a pod, and neither of them seemed to be able to go more than a day without seeing the other.</p><p>A good sixty percent of their tantrums involved them wanting to see their friend.</p><p>After about thirty minutes of driving, Anne pulled into the parking lot, the boys literally jumping up and down in excitement. They’d never unbuckled themselves from their car seats quite so fast.</p><p>Both of their eyes widened in shock and glee as they walked into the park. It was <em>huge!</em></p><p>Roller coaster’s of all kinds were everywhere, some looking much scarier than others. Costumed superheroes walked around greeting children and taking photos with them. The park smelled like pizza and caramel and sticky soda. Louis’ ears were filled with the sounds of screams, coasters zipping down their tracks, and laughter. It was packed, kids dragging their parents around, teenage couples sneaking behind buildings, friend groups raving excitedly about which ride they wanted to go on next-</p><p>It was magical.</p><p>However, it was quickly discovered that Harry was scared of every ride. It was either too fast or too tall or too large. To little Harry, even the tea cups looked menacing. His eyes started to shine with tears, bottom lip quivering, and Louis quickly rushed to his side, wrapping him in a tight hug.</p><p>“Don’t cry, Haz! It’s ok!” He comforted, hugging him even tighter when a sob racked his small frame. “We don’t have to do any of the rides if you don’t want to.” Louis said seriously, pulling back from the hug and smiling at Harry. Harry’s wet eyes widened.</p><p>“Bu- but you wanted to!” Harry exclaimed.</p><p>Louis shrugged. “That’s ok. I’m not doing it without you.”</p><p>Slowly, a tiny smile spread across Harry’s face.</p><p>“Thank you, Lou.”</p><p>Louis grinned, grabbing his hand and tugging him over to where a sweet old lady was selling candy floss. Anne watched on, smiling at her boys fondly. Her son was so shy all the time, so it was fascinating to watch him interact with Louis. He brought out the best in her boy.</p><p>They spent the rest of the day at the amusement park playing carnival games and stuffing themselves with sweets until they felt like they were going to be sick. It didn’t bother Louis in the slightest that he didn’t get to go on any rides because Harry was happy. Seeing his best friend happy was enough.</p><p>When they started to grow tired, they called it a day. Anne dropped Louis off at his house, but before he went inside, Harry reached out with his tiny hand, pulling Louis in for a goodbye hug.</p><p>“Bye, bye, Lou. See you tomorrow?” Harry asked in a sleepy voice, green eyes droopy and covered partially by his messy, wind tousled curls. Louis loved his curls. So fluffy.</p><p>Louis nodded eagerly. “Mhm, you’re coming to my house tomorrow. I got a new LEGO set we can build, it’s the Millennium Falcon!” Harry grinned, cheeks turning rosy.</p><p>“Woah, that sounds fun!” Harry said, kicking his little legs in excitement. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.” With a final nod, Louis hopped down from the car.</p><p>Waving at both Harry and Anne, Louis walked through his front door.</p><p>“How were the rides?” His mum asked from the kitchen where she was preparing dinner.</p><p>“We didn’t go on any.”</p><p>Confused, his mum left the kitchen and joined him in the living room. “How come?”</p><p>Louis shrugged. “Haz was scared, and I didn’t want to leave him out.”</p><p>His mum smiled warmly, pinching Louis’ cheek fondly. Louis whined, pulling out of her grip and swatting her hand away. “Muuuum.”</p><p>“That was really sweet of you, Lou. You’re a very good friend.”</p><p>Louis smiled sheepishly, looking down at his tennis shoes. His mum made him sound like some hero, when really, it had been a very simple decision. It hadn’t even been a decision at all, he just did it.</p><p>If it made Harry happy, Louis would do it.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Harry — 1997</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Louuu</em>, stop!”</p><p>“Never! I will reign victorious!!”</p><p>Harry shrieked, pumping his short legs as fast as he could. A spray of water shot him in the back of his head and he ran even faster.</p><p>Looking for a quick escape, Harry hurried behind his neighbors car, crouching down so Louis’ couldn’t see him. He readied his water gun for when Louis caught up to him.</p><p>Some other neighborhood kids ratted him out to Louis (curse them), and Harry made a split second decision to leave from behind the car before Louis reached him.</p><p>It didn’t work very well though because Louis was just so much faster than Harry. He was right behind him in seconds.</p><p>“I got you now!” Louis cried out, shooting Harry in the back. Deciding that running was doing nothing for him, Harry turned around and stood his ground, shooting Louis in the face with a stream of water.</p><p>Their neighbors, the twins Liz and Liam, both took Harry’s side while some older boys sided with Louis. The neighborhood was soon filled with shrieks of both delight and horror as more and more kids joined in the massive water gun fight.</p><p>Louis snuck over to Harry’s side, helping him take down the bigger kids. Harry giggled as one of them actually fell over, landing in the muddy grass.</p><p>Harry considered that their victory, so the kids on their side began to cheer excitedly. They all ran back to the twins’ house where the barbeque was taking place, Louis grabbing Harry’s hand and jumping into the pool with them.</p><p>It was the first day of the summer holiday, so that called for a massive celebration. Harry didn’t go to school yet, but Louis did, so that left him alone most days. It had been a sad, sad nine months for Harry.</p><p>But now he was here, with Harry, for a whole three months, so things were good. And even when the holiday ended, Harry would be joining him at school. They wouldn’t be in the same year, but that was ok. Louis had promised to eat lunch with him and play footy during their break everyday.</p><p>A game of chicken fight broke out between some of the older kids, and before he could protest, Louis was ducking under the water and wrapping Harry’s legs around the back of his shoulders. Harry yelped, gripping onto Louis’ hair as he shot above water.</p><p>“Oi, let go, Haz!” Louis winced in pain.</p><p>“Oops.”</p><p>Louis giggled, shaking the water out of his hair and holding on tightly to Harry’s legs. It tickled a bit. They approached their first contenders, Liz and Liam, and Harry hesitated.</p><p>“I can’t fight a girl!” He exclaimed, gesturing at Liz who sat on her brother’s shoulders. Liz snarled, eyes challenging him.</p><p>“Try me.”</p><p>Harry was pushed off Louis’ shoulders in a matter of seconds.</p><p>He apparently didn’t have to worry about fighting a girl.</p><p>Laughing delightfully, Louis grabbed Harry’s hand and pulled him back up to the surface. “Well, we tried.”</p><p>Harry shook his head like a dog, curls flying and soaking everyone in his radius. Louis huffed, rubbing the chlorine out of his eyes before splashing Harry back.</p><p>They were little kids so of course, that one splash set off a chain reaction, everyone splashing each other until Harry started to worry about all of the water being pushed out of the pool.</p><p>Louis alternated between helping Harry drench other kids and drenching Harry himself, making it very difficult for Harry to know if he could trust him to be on his team or not. Always so sneaky.</p><p>Once the splash wars came to an end, the twins’ mom walked around and gave everyone a popsicle. Harry got a green one, but he preferred the blue ones so him and Louis switched. That was something he liked about Louis, the fact that they had different tastes in sweets so they could always trade with each other if they didn’t like what they had.</p><p>Everyone needed a best friend that they could swap sweets with in their lives.</p><p>Harry and Louis spent the first two weeks of summer without going more than twelve hours apart. Harry’s family had planned a weekend trip to the river and Harry had cried so hard about having to leave Louis that they let him invite him to join them. He just couldn’t imagine spending an entire two days without his best friend.</p><p>Too unbearable.</p><p>One night in late July, their neighborhood put on some big get together that everyone was invited to. It was in Harry and Louis’ cul de sac, mostly because that just happened to be the part of the neighborhood where most of the children lived. There were bounce houses and ice cream trucks and the twins’ pool and water balloons galore-</p><p>Basically, it was any child’s dream.</p><p>As it grew darker and the stars and moon came out to shine, someone’s parents brought out sparklers. Harry was scared of getting burned, but Louis held his fine and assured him that it wouldn’t hurt him. He hesitantly accepted Louis’ sparkler, grinning when it didn’t burn him.</p><p>The kids ran around the cul de sac, swishing their sparklers and drawing funny designs with them in the night sky. Louis made Harry and a group of other children burst into a fit of uncontrolled giggles when he traced a bum in the sky. Louis looked very proud of himself for making Harry laugh so hard.</p><p>Then, the adults announced that there was another surprise for them. The kids gathered around Liam and Liz’s dad as he brandished a box of fireworks.</p><p><em>“Woah!”</em> Louis exclaimed, eyes wide in wonder. “Are those real fireworks?”</p><p>“Real as they come!”</p><p>Excited chatter broke out amongst the crowd, but Harry didn’t feel very excited. Instead, his stomach broke out in nervous butterflies and he suddenly wanted to go home.</p><p>Everyone settled down in Louis’ front yard, Harry scooting impossibly close to Louis. He’d never seen fireworks in person, but he’d heard that they were really loud and really scary. Harry didn’t like scary things.</p><p>Louis must have sensed his nerves, because he turned to him and gave him a worried look. “What’s the matter, Haz?”</p><p>“Nothing.” Harry mumbled, embarrassed. None of the other kids were scared. He twirled a piece of grass he’d plucked from the ground between his fingers, trying to distract himself so he wouldn’t start crying.</p><p>But Louis knew him, he could tell when he was scared. They spent every second of every day together, <em>of course</em> he knew Harry. The older boy threw his arm around Harry’s shoulder, pulling him close to his body until their sides were touching.</p><p>“It’s ok, they’re just a little loud, that’s all. They won’t hurt you. And they’re <em>really</em> pretty.”</p><p>Harry nodded, feeling a bit more relaxed. Louis’ presence was so comforting.</p><p>As Liam’s dad lit the first firework, Harry gripped Louis’ hand tightly. Louis didn’t say anything, just squeezed back. The firework shot up into the sky, then <em>boom!</em> An explosion of pink light illuminated the sky and the ground below it, turning Harry’s skin the color of candy floss.</p><p>It had been loud, but Louis was right about it being pretty. Everyone <em>ooh’d</em> and <em>aww’d</em>, most of them having just seen their first firework. More were set off, at least one of every color, and they were all so <em>pretty!</em></p><p>An awed grin was stuck to Harry’s face, nerves completely gone now.</p><p>Louis laid back in the grass, reaching his little hand out to pull Harry down next to him. It somehow looked even cooler when they were on their backs. It reminded Harry of when they would lay in the grass and watch the clouds, pointing out the ones that resembled a puppy or a cupcake.</p><p>An explosion of blue and green lights went off simultaneously and Louis giggled, pointing up at the colors.</p><p>“What’s funny?” Harry asked, not understanding. Was he missing out on some joke?</p><p>“It’s us!” Louis insisted, gesturing wildly at the colors.</p><p>Yeah, Harry must’ve not understood the joke.</p><p>“How is that us?”</p><p>Louis scoffed as if Harry was being silly.</p><p>“Those are our colors, <em>duh.</em> Green for you, blue for me.”</p><p>Harry pouted. “But I don’t like green, why do I have green? I prefer blue.”</p><p>“True, but you have green eyes. I have blue. I prefer green anyways.”</p><p>“Oh, I get it! They’re swapped, like how we swap sweets with each other.” Harry concluded, feeling very smart for understanding it now.</p><p>Louis nodded eagerly. “Exactly. You’re green and I’m blue, but we prefer the other. We’re like… two puzzle pieces.”</p><p>Harry liked that. He liked being Louis’ other puzzle piece. Everyone should have a best friend like that. Harry felt bad for all the kids who didn’t get to have Louis though. He’d gotten lucky with his best friend. He felt special.</p><p>Louis was the only friend Harry ever wanted.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Louis — 1998</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Haz!” Louis shouted, banging hard on the front door. “Hurry up, we’re gonna be late!”</p><p>It was their first day of school, Harry’s first day <em>ever</em>, and he was about to make them late!</p><p>The front door <em>finally</em> opened, revealing a small boy in a too big backpack. His hair was tame for once, looking quite sharp in his uniform. He looked pretty scared, but Louis had a little surprise to hopefully help ease his nerves.</p><p>“Oh, look at you two!” Anne gushed, closing the door behind her and ushering them to stand next to each other against the side of the house.</p><p>“Smile, boys!” She instructed, holding up a polaroid camera to their faces.</p><p>Harry wasn’t smiling, so Louis started to tickle him in the sides. He began giggling, grudgingly giving in and smiling. Louis wrapped his arm around his middle tight, pulling him close. That made Harry’s smile widen.</p><p>Once the photo was snapped, Anne hugged Harry and Louis goodbye, wishing them both good luck. The two boys started walking the short distance to their school and Harry looked like he was about to start crying. Louis was going to have none of that.</p><p>“I’ve got a surprise for you.”</p><p>Intrigued, Harry looked up from the pavement he’d been staring at and turned to Louis. “What for?”</p><p>“Your first day of school, of course!”</p><p>Louis pulled his backpack around his body until it was settled on his front, unzipping the smallest pocket and pulling out two little bracelets.</p><p>“Liz helped me make these. They’re friendship bracelets.” He handed the blue one to Harry, pulling the green one on his own small wrist. Harry smiled, all happy feelings and missing teeth and softness. Louis helped him fasten it on to where it fit just right.</p><p>“I know it’s scary, and I know it sucks that we’re in different years, but now it’s like we’ll always be with each other. Just- look at your bracelet, and remember that I have its pair.”</p><p>Harry’s eyes flicked back and forth between his and Louis’ bracelet, almost as if he couldn’t believe Louis made him something so nice. He was positively beaming.</p><p>“I love it, Lou. Thanks.”</p><p>Louis grinned, just as toothily, and they carried on their merry little way.</p><p>When the school was in sight, Louis grabbed Harry’s hand, giving it a small, reassuring squeeze. Harry gripped Louis’ hand tightly, nearly cutting off circulation, but Louis let him. Anything he could do to make his friend less scared.</p><p>They walked inside the building, Harry visibly shaking like a leaf. Louis picked up his delicate wrist and silently pointed at the blue bracelet that was there, flashing him a gentle smile. Eyes wide, Harry nodded, trying to take deep breaths.</p><p>Louis knew that he was scared now, but he also knew that he’d do fine. He knew that his first day wouldn’t go nearly as bad as he was picturing it, because Louis had been just as scared <em>his</em> first day and he’d survived. Harry was stronger than he thought he was.</p><p>It was when they finally had to go their separate ways, Louis to the left and Harry to the right, that Harry really started to panic. His big eyes grew watery and he was close to hyperventilating. Louis pulled him to the side of the hallway, out of the way of the other kids.</p><p>“Hey, Haz? I need you to listen to me, ok?”</p><p>Slowly, Harry nodded, wet eyes looking at Louis in fear.</p><p>“It’s going to be fine. You’re going to be fine. The teachers here are nice, and so are the students! You could have class with Liz, or Liam, or maybe Mae. And I’ll see you at lunch in barely even three hours, ok?”</p><p>Harry’s lower lip had stopped trembling as violently, so Louis took that as a win.</p><p>“I promise, everything’s going to be ok.”</p><p>Harry regarded him with the most trusting look Louis had ever seen. He believed Louis, he believed that he would be ok.</p><p>“Good. I’ll see you soon, alright?”</p><p>“Y-yeah. I’ll s-see you.” Harry mumbled, eyes dropping back down to the floor in an attempt to not cry. Louis wanted nothing more than to grab his hand and take him back home.</p><p>Instead, he grabbed his hand in his own, aligning their bracelets and giving one last comforting squeeze.</p><p>“You’ll do great, Haz.”</p><p>With a watery smile, Harry looked back up at Louis. He sniffed, wiped his eyes, and then let go of Louis’ hand, turning around and going to his first class.</p><p>Louis <em>really</em> wished they were in the same year.</p><p>~ ~ ~</p><p>
  <em>Five, four, three, two, one…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ring!!</em>
</p><p>Louis was out of his seat the second the lunch bell rang. He wished he could just run to the lunch room, but they had to walk in lines with their class until year seven. Louis hated it.</p><p>He volunteered to be the line leader for the sole reason of practically sprinting through the halls. He was worried about Harry. He really hoped he was ok.</p><p>Upon entering the lunch room, Louis began looking around frantically.</p><p>
  <em>Harry, Harry, where was he?</em>
</p><p>Then, a little boy was standing up from his seat, waving Louis over. Louis recognized the blue bracelet he wore immediately.</p><p>Louis hurried over, grinning widely.</p><p>“Haz! So, how was it?”</p><p>Harry shrugged, but he didn’t look sad anymore. Just indifferent.</p><p>“It was boring. I missed you.”</p><p>Louis smiled. “I missed you, too.”</p><p>They ate and laughed, just the two of them, just like they’d always done before school. It ended much too quickly.</p><p>“Only three hours left, then we can go to your house and play on your gameboy.” Louis reminded him. Harry giggled, nodding.</p><p>“Three hours isn’t too long.”</p><p>~ ~ ~</p><p>Three hours was <em>really</em> long.</p><p>Louis’ leg didn’t stop bouncing for a second, his eyes never left the clock above the door. Why did time have to move so <em>slow?</em></p><p>At three o’clock on the dot, Louis was out of the door. He’d told Harry, whose class was closer to the entrance, to wait for him at the front of the school. He found Harry and a smile immediately broke out across his face. And then, he wasn’t smiling anymore.</p><p>Two mean looking boys in the year above Harry stood on either side of him, one of them holding his backpack up over his head and the other laughing, saying something to Harry that Louis couldn’t hear. It looked like something straight out of a cheesy movie Louis and Harry had watched before.</p><p>Harry looked scared, on the verge of tears, and Louis had never been so mad before.</p><p>“Oi!” He shouted angrily, jogging over to them. “Piss off!” The two boys turned around, momentarily sizing Louis up before they dropped Harry’s bag. He was not only older than them, but he was taller. In school, height and age gave you the ultimate advantage.</p><p>“Bloody wankers.” Louis grumbled, grabbing them by the tails of the shirt and shoving them roughly away. Eyes widening in fear, they scurried off without a second glance back.</p><p>Suddenly growing soft, Louis turned to Harry. He did a once over him to make sure he was ok, that they hadn’t hurt him, before pulling him into a tight hug. Harry sobbed against his chest and Louis cradled his head, holding him close.</p><p>“I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I’m so sorry.” Louis mumbled over and over again, meaning it wholeheartedly. He was going to beat himself up over this for days.</p><p>Harry shook his head, not pulling away from his hug. “Not your fault,” he whispered, voice shaky.</p><p>Harry didn’t calm down until every student had already left. When he was finally ready to begin their walk home, Louis grabbed his hand, leading the way.</p><p>Louis didn’t stop talking for a second, doing his best to distract Harry. He talked about anything and everything, as long as it wasn’t related to school. By the time they got home, you couldn’t even tell that Harry had been crying.</p><p>After telling his mum about his first day, leaving out the last bit of course, Harry led Louis upstairs to his bedroom. They climbed onto Harry’s bed, pulling his gameboy out from his drawer. Louis let Harry have the first go.</p><p>Louis ended up eating dinner at the Styes’ house that night and after much pleading on both of their parts, he was allowed to spend the night. Harry didn’t feel like being alone and Louis would never just let him be upset without doing something about it.</p><p>After brushing their teeth and putting on their pajamas, they climbed into Harry’s bed that was still big enough for the both of them. Anne tucked them in, wished them a good sleep, and then left. Harry immediately curled into Louis’ side like he always did, and Louis wrapped his little arm around his shoulder.</p><p>They looked like two baby kittens cuddling up for warmth.</p><p>“Hey, Lou?”</p><p>“Hmm?”</p><p>“Thanks again for the bracelet.”</p><p>Louis smiled, though it was concealed by the dark so Harry couldn’t see it.</p><p>“You’re welcome.”</p><p>“I don’t think I’m ever going to take it off.” Harry said, sounding sleepier and sleepier with each sentence. Louis chuckled.</p><p>“Yeah, neither will I.”</p><p>There was silence once again until Harry’s soft, quiet snores filled the room. Louis looked to his left to find the boy’s cheek smushed against his pillow, hair all fluffy and tangled. He looked very peaceful, and Louis was glad. He hated seeing Harry anything but happy.</p><p>Louis drifted off to sleep soon after, finger wrapped around the blue friendship bracelet that rested on Harry’s wrist, other hand gripped tightly in the back of his blue pajama top.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry — 2001</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t think I’m doing this right.”</p><p>Louis glanced over his shoulder, bursting into laughter.</p><p>“Haz. You gotta <em>push</em>, it’s not electric!”</p><p>Louis did a smooth turn on his skateboard, stopping himself right in front of Harry.</p><p>“How do you <em>do</em> that?”</p><p>Harry couldn’t even get his board to move.</p><p>Louis shrugged, “Practice, I guess. Look, put your left foot here-,” he instructed, leaning down and putting Harry’s foot in the correct position. “And then with your right, you push. Just like a scooter. After you push, you just bring your right foot to rest behind your left.”</p><p>He demonstrated slowly, Harry watching closely.</p><p>“Ok, I think I get it.”</p><p>Very carefully, Harry pushed off with his right foot and moved about an inch.</p><p>“Better!” Louis complimented, “Just push a little harder now.”</p><p>Huffing out a short breath of preparation, Harry tried again. This time he went further, but he was a lot more wobbly.</p><p>“Good, Haz! See, you got it!”</p><p>Preening under Louis’ praises, Harry grew more confident. He pushed off even harder, accidentally leaning too far to the right and toppling over onto the pavement, landing hard on his elbow. The skateboard shot out from under him, rolling across the street.</p><p>“Ouch.” Harry grumbled, sitting up only slightly stunned. Louis giggled, skating over to where Harry sat.</p><p>“You alright?” He asked, extending a hand for Harry to grab onto. Harry inspected his scraped elbow before nodding, letting Louis help him up.</p><p>“I thought I had it.” Harry pouted, disappointed.</p><p>“Aw, don’t give up on it yet. Took me ages to stop falling. You’ll get there.” Louis reassured, skating across the street to bring Harry’s board back.</p><p>Before Harry could give it another go, Louis exclaimed, “Oh, I have an idea!” His eyes were gleaming and Harry just knew he’d cooked up some mischievous, most likely dangerous plan in his brain. He told Harry to put both of his feet on the board and grab onto Louis’ hand.</p><p>“Lou…? What are you about to do?” Harry asked, nervously. This was most definitely going to be one of his more reckless ideas.</p><p>“I’m going to skate for you, duh!”</p><p>Before Harry could protest, Louis had his fingers intertwined with Harry’s and he was kicking off. Harry shrieked, Louis laughing loudly at him. They skated up and down the street a few times, Louis dragging Harry along behind him, and it surprisingly worked quite well.</p><p>“See, isn’t this fun?!” Louis called out, speeding up more and more. Wind whipped through his hair and if he closed his eyes, it felt like he was <em>flying</em>. Harry giggled, “Yeah, it is!”</p><p>Well, it <em>was</em> until Louis skated over a small pothole in the middle of the street, sending them toppling to the ground. Harry yelped loudly as he was pulled down with Louis who didn’t let go of his hand, landing roughly on top of him.</p><p><em>“Oof,”</em> Louis groaned when their chests collided painfully. Harry winced, releasing his grip on Louis’ hand and rolling off him.</p><p>They laid there on the pavement, head touching and out of breath. It was silent until Harry erupted into a fit of uncontrollable giggles.</p><p>“I mean, it was fun for a while.” Harry pointed out, slightly winded, still laying next to Louis on the pavement, staring up at the clouds drifting by. Louis joined in with even more giggles, “It was.”</p><p>Over the next few hours, Harry had it figured out pretty well. He could even turn to the right, although it was a very slow, painful process. Turning to the left just seemed impossible so he decided to save that for another day.</p><p>They skated to the park, both of them sweating in the humid air by the time they got there. Setting their boards against a pole, they hopped on a swing and competed to see who could get the highest. Louis won, much to Harry’s dismay.</p><p>“It’s not fair.” He whined, not even that upset because Louis looked positively delighted to win, so it was hard to be mad. “Your legs are longer!”</p><p>Louis scoffed. “Excuses, excuses, Harold.”</p><p>“Don’t call me that.” Harry mumbled, shooting Louis a dirty look.</p><p>“Don’t call you what? <em>Harold?”</em> Louis teased, jumping off the swing to join Harry at the monkey bars.</p><p>“Whatever, <em>Lewis</em>.”</p><p>“That’s not even my actual name!”</p><p>“It is now.”</p><p>Louis laughed in disbelief, shaking his head.</p><p>“When did you get so sassy, mister?”</p><p>Harry giggled, shrugging innocently. “I think you’re a bad influence on me.”</p><p>They continued teasing each other back and forth, switching between the swings and the monkey bars and the rock wall and the slide until they got bored and decided to skate home.</p><p>The summer before year three was quickly coming to an end, and it made Harry sad. During the summer, he got to spend every waking hour with Louis. They did absolutely everything together.</p><p>Whether they were skating, baking, watching Star Wars, swimming at the twins’ house, going to the zoo, or even just enjoying the warm weather in the front yard, they did it together. Out of a hundred nights, they slept at each other’s house eighty times. Gemma had told Harry that she sometimes forgot that she didn’t actually have two little brothers.</p><p>There was a new addition to the Tomlinson household now too, little Lottie. She was almost three now, and she was adorable. Louis didn’t seem to like her all that much, but that was probably because now, he wasn’t the only child in the house to receive all of the attention. Most of it, obviously, went to the new baby.</p><p>Ever since Lottie had been born, Louis had been even more eager to spend his every waking second with Harry, always the little attention seeker.</p><p>Not that Harry was complaining.</p><p>“What do you wanna do now?” Harry asked once they got back to their cul de sac.</p><p>Louis thought about it for a moment, eyes lighting up mischievously once again.</p><p>Why did Harry even ask these questions anymore?</p><p>“Are the Payne’s home?</p><p>Harry shook his head. “Nah, they’re visiting family in Wolverhampton. Uh, why?”</p><p>Louis didn’t say anything, just stood up from the pavement and grabbed Harry’s wrist, dragging him to the twins’ house.</p><p>He unlocked the back gate, letting himself into their backyard. Harry’s jaw dropped.</p><p>“Louis! What are you doing?! This is illegal!” Harry hissed, refusing to step through the gate. If they got busted, he was <em>not</em> spending the rest of his life in prison, thank you very much.</p><p>“Oh, come on, you know they wouldn’t mind. They said we could swim whenever.” Louis pointed out.</p><p>Harry couldn’t remember if that was true or not.</p><p>Still hesitant, Harry bit at his nails. Louis sighed, walking back to the gate and pulling Harry into their backyard. “Come on, Harold. I promise, the cops won’t get ya.”</p><p>Eventually, Harry gave in. He pulled off his shirt and jumped into his neighbor's swimming pool with Louis, like a bloody <em>criminal</em>. He had to admit, it was kind of thrilling.</p><p>They were a curious pair of best friends. Harry was much quieter, much more reserved. He was sweet and shy and followed rules to a T. Louis was the complete opposite. He was the loudest boy on the block, reckless and carefree. He didn’t appreciate rules as much as Harry did, but Harry had to admit that Louis’ mischievous streak was sort of- endearing? He always had so much fun with Louis, even if they were doing something they weren’t supposed to do, such as breaking into their neighbors backyard for a swim.</p><p>Oh god. Louis really <em>was</em> a bad influence on Harry, wasn’t he??</p><p>“Hey, it’s their cat!” Louis exclaimed, pointing at the fluffy grey thing as it stalked leisurely past the pool, obviously wanting nothing to do with them. “She’s so cute. I’m going to pet her.”</p><p>Louis pulled himself out of the pool, dripping wet, and thought it wise to pet a cat. See? Reckless.</p><p>“Lou, I don’t think she’s going to like tha-!”</p><p>The cat hissed before Harry could finish his warning, pouncing at Louis and biting his finger hard, growling as Louis yelped and tried desperately to shake her off.</p><p>“<em>Argh</em>, you bloody beast!” Louis cried out, using his other hand to pull the cat off.</p><p>He finally freed his hand, the Payne’s cat sprinting away. Harry couldn’t stop giggling, shaking his head at how dumb that had been. Seriously, what had he expected?</p><p>Louis looked down at Harry laughing at him. The pained grimace left his face and he smirked. “You’re gonna regret that, Curly.” Before Harry could process what he was about to do, Louis was running straight at him, canon balling hardly even an inch to his left. Water splashed everywhere, specifically on Harry, drenching everything in sight. Harry shrieked and when Louis came above water for air, Harry wrestled him right back down.</p><p>Louis finally breached the surface, gasping. “Traitor!” He shouted, grabbing Harry in a headlock and shoving <em>him</em> under water. A battle commenced between the two, loud giggles and delighted shrieks filling the air.</p><p>The Payne’s neighbors probably thought the family was already back home.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Early Teens</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Basically Harry Potter, music, Six Flags (but not really), and astronomy. And.... feelings?!?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry I just really like Harry Potter. It's gonna be a rather prominent thing HAHAH. Hope y'all enjoy :D</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> Harry— 2006 </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Puberty hit hard and shit started to get <em> weird.  </em></p><p>There were the pimples and the awkwardness and the new heights and longer limbs and… feelings.</p><p>God, feelings sucked.</p><p>Around the age of eleven, Louis had begun to notice girls. He wanted to hang out with them and hold hands with them and… <em> kiss </em>them. It was disgusting!</p><p>Harry had never understood it. What was the point of dating a girl when you already had friends? Was it to make babies one day? Babies were cute, sure, but were they really worth it? Louis had said he was just too young, that in a year or two, he too would start liking girls.</p><p>But here he was, in year eight, and he felt nothing towards them. Not an ounce of attraction to be found. He was friends with Liz and some other girls in his year, but that was it. He could never imagine being any of their <em> boyfriends </em>.</p><p>In fact, he couldn’t imagine being <em> anyone’s </em> boyfriend. </p><p>All he wanted to do was hang out with Louis.</p><p>Year nine had been Louis' whole girl obsessed phase, and Harry was delighted to say it quickly passed over. It was a miserable time for Harry, simply because all Louis talked about was which girl he wanted to snog and Harry could never relate.</p><p>Now though, Harry would ask if he liked anybody, and instead of listing off a number of girls like he used to, he’d simply shrug. </p><p>Harry was much more pleased to have his Louis back than he’d ever admit.</p><p>It had been a rough year, they’d even had their first real fight that year (some misunderstanding about a girl that neither of them ever mentioned again) but things were back to normal now. It was just Louis and Harry against the rest of the world.</p><p>
  <em>Us</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And them</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And after all, we’re only ordinary men</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Me </em>
</p><p>
  <em>And you</em>
</p><p>Just as it was meant to be.</p><p>There had been some new additions to Louis’ family, the twins, Daisy and Phoebe. They were just as adorable as Lottie had been, but things at the Tomlinson household were much more chaotic as there were two of them. Harry hoped Louis’ mum kept having children because that meant Louis would spend more time at Harry’s house, away from said babies. Maybe it was a little selfish, but he couldn’t help but grin and feel all warm every time Louis came over to his house to escape all the screaming and crying.</p><p>Harry was Louis’ escape and it made him feel almost proud.</p><p>Louis had also made the football team, something Harry had been insanely proud of. Harry was quite literally Louis’ biggest fan. He’d thrown a massive party for just the two of them after the announcement came and didn’t stop talking about football for a <em> week </em>.</p><p>Louis had pretended to act annoyed, but his ears always blushed pink under Harry’s praises, and Harry never missed that secret smile of his. It was one of his favorite things in the world, right after Louis’ hugs, cotton candy, and Louis’ eyes.</p><p>Yes, he had a list. And?</p><p>Tonight was Louis’ first footy match and although Harry wasn’t very big on sports, he was definitely more excited than Louis was.</p><p>“This is big, Lou!” Harry exclaimed, waving his hands around in the air to demonstrate just how big it was. “You’re not only on varsity, but you’re one of the <em> starting players </em>! That’s incredible!!”</p><p>Louis shrugged, trying to act all cool or whatever, but Harry could see how happy he secretly was. Harry knew he was proud of himself, he was just being modest. That, and he was also obviously scared out of his mind for the match.</p><p>“We’re probably going to lose, anyways. The other teams supposed to be really good.”</p><p>Harry scoffed, rolling his eyes. Yup. He was terrified.</p><p>“Doubtful. You know I’ve been watching all of your practices; you guys are good, and I’m not just saying that ‘cause I love you.”</p><p>Louis smiled big, cheesily at Harry from underneath his cocoon of sheets in his bed, “Aww, love ya too, Styles.” Harry grinned. He could tell Louis was nervous and trying to hide it, but he wasn’t doing a very good job. It was like he sometimes forgot that Harry had known him for almost thirteen years now, that Harry could read him clear as day.</p><p>“It’s ok to be scared, y’know.” Harry said, hopping off Louis’ desk and perching on the edge of his bed. “That’s normal for your first big match.”</p><p>He’d played here and there outside of school, but never on the school’s team. It was obviously a bigger deal, and he was obviously under a lot more pressure, even if he didn’t want to admit it.</p><p>“It is ok. But I’m not scared.”</p><p>The tips of Louis’ ears turned pink, a sure sign that he was lying. Harry giggled, crawling closer to Louis and pulling back the duvet, slipping into the warm enclosure. With all the sheets and Louis’ body heat, it felt like a sauna, but it was nice. His senses were overloaded with Louis- his smell, his warmth, him in general. Harry threw his leg over the boy, making himself comfortable.</p><p>Louis turned on his side to face Harry, noses inches apart. Harry was able to count every little freckle along the bridge of his nose, the little cluster of constellations on his cheeks. His soft blue eyes had a tiny green ring around the center, looking so mesmerizing this close up. A bajillion galaxies resided in Louis’ eyes and Harry secretly hoped he was the only person who ever got to be lucky enough to see them.</p><p>They laid there under the sheets in silence, just studying each other. Most people would find it, well- awkward to hold eye contact for so long, but it never was for them. It was just something they did, one of their many little habits they’d picked up growing up together.</p><p>“You wanna wear my practice jersey tonight?” Louis whispered, a soft smile spreading on his lips. Harry laughed.</p><p>“Like I’m your girlfriend?”</p><p>Louis scoffed, reaching his arms out and tugging Harry closer by the waist, rolling onto his back as he did so so Harry’s body was flush on top of Louis’.</p><p>“You practically <em> are </em> my girlfriend at this point.” Louis pointed out, Harry laughing even harder because he was very right about that. He could feel Louis’ chest vibrate underneath his with giggles and it sent an odd tingling sensation throughout his body.</p><p>“Not my fault no woman could ever treat you as good as I can.” Harry teased, softly pinching Louis’ cheeks. </p><p>“Hey now, just haven’t found the one yet.”</p><p>Harry gasped in mock hurt.</p><p>“I’m literally <em> right here </em>!”</p><p>The two boys burst into yet another fit of giggles, Louis squeezing Harry’s waist hard and pulling him down so his head was resting directly above Louis’ steady heart beat. Harry was so comfortable, so relaxed that he was in real danger of drifting off to sleep right then.</p><p>Nothing was more calming than Louis’ presence.</p><p>Eventually, they grudgingly were forced to get up so Louis wasn’t late for the match. Louis dug through his drawers until he found his practice jersey, tossing it over to Harry.</p><p>“So everyone knows who you belong to.” Louis swooned, cheesily batting his long, long eyelashes at a very flustered Harry. He knew it was supposed to be a joke, but something in Harry's stomach clenched painfully.</p><p>He thought it had been a joke! He hadn’t actually thought that he would give him his jersey! To wear in front of- <em> everybody!! </em></p><p>Regardless, he pulled the shirt over his head, now sporting a large “28” on his back right under “TOMLINSON”. Harry would be a big fat liar if he said he wasn’t blushing red as a cherry right now.</p><p>Their families would be meeting them at the stadium, (because of course the Styles’ had to go and support their other son), so Harry and Louis walked together.</p><p>It was much more evident now that Louis was scared, he was all jittery and wouldn’t shut up, so Harry reached his hand out and grabbed Louis’, squeezing it comfortingly. Louis sent him a tight lipped and nervous, but thankful smile, clammy hand gripping Harry’s tighter.</p><p>That was another thing they had never grown out of; holding hands. Some kids thought it was weird, and others thought the two were actually <em> dating, </em>but it had always been purely platonic. All the cuddles and hand holding and even the little pecks on the cheeks between the two had always been nothing but friendly. What was the problem with being affectionate with people? They both found comfort in it, and it definitely wasn’t hurting anyone, so why would they ever stop? </p><p>Harry desperately hoped that they never grew out of it.</p><p>They had just walked into the stadium when Harry realized something.</p><p>“Wait, you’re not supposed to wear any jewelry, right?”</p><p>Confused, Louis looked down at his wrist to where Harry was pointing at his green bracelet. </p><p>“No, but I can hide it.”</p><p>Harry gave Louis a pointed look, which made Louis pout.</p><p>“But Haaaz,” he whined, “I’ve never taken it off!”</p><p>And that was true, neither of them had ever taken off their matching friendship bracelets, not even during their half a month long fight. They wore them in the shower, when they went swimming, when they slept...</p><p>Louis’ left and Harry’s right wrist hadn’t been bare in over seven years.</p><p>“They’re going to make you, though. Just-  put it on your ankle!” Harry suggested as a compromise. He knew Louis would’ve outright refused to take it off completely.</p><p>After a moment of hesitation, Louis huffed, “Fine,” loosening the string so he could slip it off. An extremely pale tan line rested on his wrist, and it just looked so wrong to see it naked. These bracelets had literally become an extension of them.</p><p>Bending down, Louis slipped off his shoe and fastened the bracelet around his bony ankle. He stood back up, pouting once again. “This feels illegal.”</p><p>Harry laughed, taking off his own bracelet and putting it on his ankle.</p><p>“There, now they’re still in the same spot.”</p><p>Louis grinned, looking between their ankles, pout melting away faster than the speed of light. Harry loved when he was able to make Louis smile like that. “Perfect.”</p><p>Louis left to go warmup, so Harry went to find an empty bench to save. He watched as Louis ran a few laps, did some stretches, then started doing- well, Harry wasn’t sure. He didn’t know much about football, but there was definitely a ball and he was definitely kicking it so…</p><p>About ten minutes before the game, their families found Harry and filed onto the bench. There were a lot of them now: Harry’s parents, Gemma, Louis’ parents, Lottie, Phoebe, and Daisy. All there to support Louis. That thought made Harry smile a lot.</p><p>“Nice jersey, Hazza.” Gemma snorted, tracing the last name on the back. “You and your boyfriend are just <em> adorable! </em>”</p><p>Blushing, Harry threw a dirty look his sister’s way.</p><p>“We are <em> not </em> boyfriends, Gem,” he insisted. It felt like they had this conversation at least once a week. He was pretty sure she would never let it go.</p><p>Holding her hands up in defence, Gemma raised a knowing eyebrow. “Whatever you say, man. Whatever you say.”</p><p>There was no use in arguing with her because she was stubborn as all hell. His sister actually reminded him a lot of Louis, what with their enthusiastic attitudes and their insane talkativeness and their borderline bossy personalities...</p><p>The ref blew the whistle and the team captains met in the middle. Before he knew it, their team had the ball and the match had started.</p><p>Harry tried desperately to follow what was happening in the game, but it was like his eyes refused to look anywhere other than Louis. Most people followed the ball, but not Harry. Even when he was on the sidelines, Harry was looking at him. Was that weird?</p><p>At halftime, they were tied 1-1. Louis had been right about the other team being good, but so were they. Their team was giving that other school a run for their money.</p><p>Harry didn’t know what was going off, but the atmosphere was tense. Everyone was arguing with the refs, like, a <em> lot. </em> A lot of cards had been thrown down for both teams, and Harry at least knew that <em> that </em> was a bad thing. Louis himself had gotten a few, his short temper not helping his case any. He’d almost started a fight with some guy on the other team, resulting in the coach pulling him off the field. </p><p>Harry would be lying if he said he wasn’t genuinely worried about Louis punching someone at this point. </p><p>There were five minutes of the match left and the score was still tied. The coach looked stressed, as did everyone else on the field. Most people in the stands hadn’t sat down for nearly twenty minutes.</p><p>Harry watched as the coach instructed Louis to get back on the field. Louis nodded seriously, bending down and twisting the green bracelet around his ankle before jogging to his position. </p><p>Harry smiled at the nervous tick, something they both had picked up from each other. It had become a sort of good luck charm for them as well. Twisting his own bracelet, Harry sent up a silent prayer to whoever was up there to let this end well for them. </p><p>For Louis.</p><p>The next few minutes were rough, everyone playing dirty and too many players having to get escorted off the field from injury. Harry knew some of them were being over dramatic, but others looked genuinely hurt. It could be a dangerous game.</p><p>He was just glad that Louis was ok, and he desperately hoped it stayed that way.</p><p>There was no wood in sight, so Harry discreetly tapped on the bleachers twice. No way was he jinxing this. </p><p>They were down to thirty seconds, and everyone was at their wits ends. <em> Finally, </em>one of the older boys on their team was in possession of the ball. He faked out a few opponents, smoothly drifting past others. The boy did some fancy footwork, resulting in an eruption of cheers from the crowd. He was getting closer and closer to the goal, the crowd leaning forwards with anxious energy to watch. Harry felt sick with anticipation.</p><p>It looked like the boy was about to pass the ball to someone on the right, but at the last second, he switched directions and kicked it over to an expecting Louis. Now Harry was <em> really </em> nervous. </p><p>With no more than five seconds left on the clock, Louis sunk the ball directly in the corner pocket of the goal, the goalie falling over and missing it.</p><p>Everyone in the stands and on the field alike broke into loud cheers, the deafening buzzer hardly able to be heard over the exictement. Harry was probably screaming the loudest. He was so <em> proud. </em></p><p>He watched as Louis’ teammates lifted him up in the air. He looked so happy in that moment, wearing the biggest grin ever, laughing with his head thrown back. Harry wanted to run out on the field and hug him tight, never letting go.</p><p>After the teams shook hands, they jogged off the field and went to find their families. Louis’ already gigantic grin somehow got even larger when he found Harry. He broke into a sprint, literally jumping into Harry’s arms, wrapping his legs tight around Harry’s waist. Harry was lucky that they were the same height now, or else he surely would’ve toppled to the ground. </p><p>“See, I <em> told you! </em>” Harry exclaimed, nuzzling his nose into Louis’ sweaty neck. It was kind of gross but he didn’t care. “You did amazing, Lou!”</p><p>Louis giggled into his shoulder, strong legs squeezing Harry even tighter. “Thanks, Haz,” he muttered in a soft, caring voice. Harry felt like his heart was going to melt out of his body.</p><p>Gemma, the bloody <em> git </em>, wolf whistled at them, and Harry all but dropped Louis to the ground. Startled, Harry remembered that they had an audience. Both of their families were watching them in amusement, Gemma wearing the biggest smirk he’d ever seen.</p><p>Embarrassed and blushing madly, Harry dropped his eyes to the ground and focused on anything that wasn’t Louis. Which was actually a really hard thing to do. Harry was pretty sure ninety five percent of his life involved Louis in some way so...</p><p>Louis made his way over to his family to accept their congratulation, Harry slowly walking to his mum.</p><p>“You two seemed very… happy, “ she commented, sounding very amused indeed. God, Harry’s face was on <em> fire </em>.</p><p>To celebrate, they went out to dinner together. Louis changed clothes in the back of his mum’s car, Harry very pointedly looking away. He felt- embarrassed for some reason. Huh. That was new.</p><p>Dinner was good. Louis talked non-stop like always, Harry giving him his undivided attention, like always. Everything Louis said made him giggle, but then again, it always had. Louis’ face lit up every time he made Harry laugh, so Harry made sure to always laugh a lot.</p><p>After dinner, they sat on the little swing on Harry’s porch, enjoying each other's company and soaking in the victory of the night. Harry would never get tired of just <em> being </em> with Louis.</p><p>“Oh! Nearly forgot.” Louis said, leaning over and removing his bracelet from his ankle, Harry doing the same.</p><p>Louis grabbed the blue bracelet from Harry, putting it on his wrist for him. When his fingers brushed across the curve of Harry’s wrist ever so lightly, Harry felt a shock of energy shoot through his body. Not unpleasant, just startling. His breath caught in his throat too and his tummy felt all- funny. </p><p>That was odd.</p><p>Harry put on Louis’ bracelet and then they were standing up, embracing tightly. Harry reached up to rest his chin on the top of Louis’ head, something Louis hated because “Goddamnit, Harold, I’m the older one and you’re already my height!”</p><p>He didn’t complain though. Instead, he seemed to shrink further into the hug, tucking himself inside Harry’s arms. Harry giggled as his warm breath fanned against the front of his neck, tickling him.</p><p>“Wanna go skating tomorrow morning?” Louis murmured into his chest, still not letting go. Harry hummed in agreement.</p><p>Gemma shouted something through the window so before she could come out and embarrass him, Harry let go of Louis and took a step back.</p><p>Louis pouted, reaching grabby hands out to Harry.</p><p>“Lou!” Harry shrieked when he grabbed his sides, tickling him without meaning to. “You gotta go home at <em> some point.” </em></p><p>Louis groaned, stomping his foot. It shouldn’t have been as endearing as it was.</p><p>“Fine, but I’m waking your arse up the second the sun rises tomorrow, k?”</p><p>“Alright, clingy.” Harry teased, grabbing Louis’ hands and removing them from his sensitive sides. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”</p><p>With a final shy smile, Louis turned around and walked across the pavement to his house. Harry watched him the entire time, tummy feeling all fluttery again. A loud banging from behind startled him.</p><p>“Done kissing your boyfriend goodbye, yet?” Gemma shouted through the window. Harry flipped her off, and all she did was cackle loudly, flipping the finger right back at him.</p><p>Sigh. Sisters.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Louis-- 2007 </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The day Louis met Zayn Malik was the day that his entire world was flipped on his head. It was the day he started questioning things he’d never even thought about before. </p><p>Zayn was a year older and Louis had met him through a mutual friend who he played footy with. Zayn was… unlike anyone Louis had ever met before.</p><p>He was a mellow guy. Artistic, observant, typically very quiet. He was a little intimidating at first, probably because his features appeared to have been carved by <em> literal </em> Greek Gods, but he was a really nice guy.</p><p>Not only that, but he was also openly and unabashedly bisexual.</p><p>Which- Louis didn’t know how to feel about.</p><p>And it wasn’t in a bad way either, it was rather the complete opposite. Louis found himself almost- admiring the older boy? He’d never met someone who was so sure of themselves, who gave so few fucks about what other people thought of him. </p><p>Zayn Malik fascinated Louis.</p><p>Louis went over his house once to get help with writing an essay and the first thing that had caught his attention when he walked into his bedroom was his <em> enormous </em> vinyl collection. You simply couldn’t miss it. Like, it was an entire floor to ceiling bookshelf of vinyls. It was insane.</p><p>Zayn had everything from Bowie and The Doors to T. Rex and Pink Floyd to Black Veil Brides and Green Day. He also had ABBA, Britney Spears, and Paramore which Louis both respected and found quite funny. </p><p>Name any album, and there was a good chance Zayn could tell you the exact date it was released and if it topped the charts or not. He was a music fanatic.</p><p>His room was mostly green with lots of rainbow and multi-colored trinkets. It was both extremely cluttered and very neat, which reflected Zayn’s personality well. His walls were covered top to bottom in a mixture of posters for bands and his own art pieces, all of which were weird and so beautifully done.</p><p>Louis had never met anyone like him before.</p><p>Louis had been struggling with this essay for over a week but with Zayn’s help, they finished before they could even have a full listen through Bowies’ <em> The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars. </em> </p><p>Which- wow? He was smart too? Louis found himself wishing he could be the carbon copy of this boy.</p><p>Something rather funny about Zayn was the effect he had on everyone, specifically, straight men. On more than one occasion had Louis overheard talk about the boy in the footy locker room, always along the lines of, “I’m straight but damn, Malik can get it,” or Louis’ personal favorite, “My girlfriend and I both have a man crush on Malik.”</p><p>And Louis couldn’t find it in himself to disagree.</p><p>Sometimes, Zayn made him feel… confused. He didn’t think he <em> liked </em> him or anything, but he wasn’t sure the reason he didn’t like him was because he was a boy. It felt more like it was just because he was- Zayn.</p><p>Zayn was his friend. There were no <em> actual </em> feelings other than the occasional confusion.  Granted, he was his extremely <em> attractive </em> friend, but still. Too weird.</p><p>Between footy and his academics and his confusion of his very male and very attractive new friend, Louis was finding himself spending less and less time with Harry. It was depressing really, he missed him a lot, but it was just hard to find time between their two very contradicting schedules.</p><p>Harry had recently picked up the guitar, and he was damn good at it. He had a lovely voice too, the kind of voice Louis imagined one would hear passing through the gates of heaven. Harry was like Louis’ own little personal angel.</p><p>Louis was so happy for him, but he had lessons on Tuesdays and Thursdays, Louis having practice on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays, then games on Friday nights, so it just never worked out. Harry hadn’t missed a single game since Louis joined the team, not even when he’d come down with a cold, but that seemed to be the only time they really got to see each other outside of school. Their schedules just clashed too much.</p><p>Louis missed him though, so he was set on spending actual, good time with him. He had an entire weekend planned for them, just the two of them. He wished he could just skip the footy match and get straight to the weekend.</p><p>Luckily, the game hadn’t been close at all and they won 5-1, no over time. Jogging off the field, cheers loud in his ears, he met Harry under the bleachers like always. Harry didn’t know of his plans yet, and Louis was ecstatic to tell him.</p><p>“You doing anything this weekend?”</p><p>Harry thought for a moment, then shook his head. Louis grinned.</p><p>“Well, you are now.”</p><p> </p><p>~ ~ ~</p><p> </p><p>“Lou, you’re <em> insane. </em> I can’t do that shit!”</p><p>“<em> Duhh, </em> that’s why I’m going to teach you!”</p><p>Harry groaned in distress, carding his fingers through his soft curls. Giggling, Louis came to stand behind Harry, wrapping his arms around his waist and resting his chin on Harry’s shoulder. Harry was now fully taller than Louis, at least by two inches, and he seemed to not be anywhere near done growing. It was utterly unfair.</p><p>“Hey, remember how I taught you to skate when we were little?” Louis whispered close to his ear, well aware that that always seemed to make Harry melt and grow flustered and do whatever Louis pleased. It wasn’t manipulative or sneaky, Louis was just… clever. He just knew Harry well.</p><p>Slowly, Harry nodded. Wrapping his arms even tighter around his waist, Louis continued, “Then trust me! It’s the smallest ramp, it won’t hurt you to try. I’ll help.”</p><p>“You’re going to get me killed one day,” Harry grumbled, leaning back into Louis’ arms, tossing his head up to the sky so he could peak over at Louis out of the corner of his eye. Louis smiled though because while it was grudging, it had <em> definitely </em> been an agreement.</p><p>“Right, so get close to the edge and do what you always do.”</p><p>Tongue poking out in concentration, Harry positioned his feet on the board. </p><p>“Good.” Louis said, getting closer. “Now, you’re going to keep your left shoulder down the entire time you’re going down, ok?”</p><p>Harry nodded as Louis gently pushed his left shoulder down. It might’ve been Louis’ imagination, but he could’ve sworn he felt Harry’s muscles tense momentarily underneath his fingers.</p><p>That was strange.</p><p>“Arms out for balance, yup, just like that. And lastly, don’t fall!” Louis finished cheekily, patting Harry teasingly on the cheek. Harry laughed breathily, sounding a little nervous. But before Louis could ask if he was ok, he was pushing off with his right foot and- he didn’t fall!</p><p>“I told you!” Louis exclaimed, going down the ramp himself to join Harry at the bottom. “Wasn’t so bad, was it?”</p><p>Harry shrugged, “I’m surprised I didn’t fall since I have such a shit teacher.”</p><p>Louis gasped, punching Harry’s arm playfully. “You little shit! I got you down in one piece, I’d say I’m a pretty decent teach.” Harry giggled, cheeks turning pink.</p><p>They stayed at the skate park until midnight, having the entire space to themselves. Harry had eventually worked up the courage to go down the slightly bigger ramp, only falling down twice. Louis was a lot more careless, scraping up his knees pretty badly when he got a little too daring and went down the steepest ramp. </p><p>Their skate home was nothing extraordinary- hell, they’d done it so many times how <em> could </em> it be?- but something about it was one of the nicest things Louis had ever experienced.</p><p> Skating underneath the dark blanket of stars in complete silence save for the crickets and the frogs and the sound of their wheels on the gravel with Harry was exhilarating. Occasionally, Harry would reach over and tap Louis on the arm, pointing up at a cluster of stars and telling him the constellation’s name and it’s entire story, because of course he knew the stories of all the stars. Harry was the only teenage boy Louis knew that took time to appreciate the stars, and it was so insanely endearing that Louis’ chest ached with it.</p><p>“That one,” Harry said, pointing a bit to their left, “is Ursa Major. The story goes that Zeus had an affair with the beautiful maiden Callisto and to escape his wife Hera’s understandably jealous rage and protect Callisto, Zeus turned Callisto and her son, Arcas, into bears. Then, he threw them up into the night sky where they remained forever.”</p><p>“Huh. Zeus was a dick.”</p><p>Harry snorted. “Definitely.”</p><p>With each new myth of the stars Harry told, Louis could feel his heart grow fuller and fuller. He probably had the most pathetic smile on his face, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care.</p><p>He just knew that one day in the future when he was reminiscing on his teenage years, this would be one of the moments that stood out the most, one of those moments he would long to experience just one more time.</p><p>Louis had never felt so alive yet at peace at the same time.</p><p>Breaking the silence after a while, Harry asked, “So what’s up next on your itinerary for our <em> Most Magical Weekend Ever? </em>”</p><p>Harry giggled as he said the last bit, mocking Louis’ words from after the footy match...</p><p>
  <em>"What do you mean I have plans now?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Well, you just so happen to have the best friend in the world,” Louis started cheekily, throwing his arm around Harry’s shoulder and steering him out of the stadium, “and that best friend in the whole wide world has planned what I like to call the ‘Most Magical Weekend Ever’ for us,” he finished, spreading his hands out before them as if the title was written there in the air.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Harry stared.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You’re a massive dork, d’ya know that?”</em>
</p><p>“Hey, the title holds true to what I have planned!” Louis defended.</p><p>“Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”</p><p>“And we’re having a Harry Potter marathon now.”</p><p>Harry barked a loud, loud laugh.</p><p>“Yup, you’re definitely a dork!”</p><p> </p><p>~ ~ ~</p><p> </p><p>They only got through the first two movies before Harry fell asleep, wrapped up in a cocoon of blankets, head on Louis’ lap. Harry <em> always </em> fell asleep first. Louis decided to watch <em> Prisoner of Azkaban </em>alone despite the rising sun, twirling Harry’s curls between his fingers throughout the entire duration of the movie. Each time Louis caressed his fingers though Harry’s curls or rested his hand against his warm cheek, he moved closer to him in his sleep, a tiny smile on his sleeping face. It was adorable and Louis found himself paying more attention to the boy in his lap than the movie.</p><p>Oh well. He’d seen it before.</p><p>At some point, Louis must have drifted off as well because he woke up hours later, <em> all </em>tangled up in Harry. He couldn’t tell where his body ended and his own started. Lifting his head groggily, he discovered a tiny drool stain on the front of Harry’s shirt where his head had been resting.</p><p>Oops. Hopefully it dried before he woke up.</p><p>Quietly untangling himself from Harry, Louis left the room and made his way to his kitchen.</p><p>Right. He could do this. Cooking couldn’t be <em> that </em> hard. Harry did it all the time!</p><p>Except Harry was actually good at following recipes and Louis was shit.</p><p>Just as he started to get the jist of making pancakes, one of the twins’ started to cry. He got distracted, completely forgetting about the food until he smelled something burning.</p><p>"<em>Shit! </em>”</p><p>He rushed back into the kitchen, thankful to find that nothing was on fire. There was just a <em> lot </em> of smoke. He turned off the burner, flipping the blackened pancake (you couldn’t even tell it was supposed to be a pancake anymore) onto the plate he’d set out. </p><p>The loud noise and horrid smell must have woken Harry.</p><p>“Lou? Everything ok?” He mumbled, sleepily rubbing his eyes. Louis was momentarily distracted yet again by how soft Harry looked when he woke up. His hair was all rumpled, cheeks slightly pink from being under so many blankets for so long. His voice was deep and raspy from sleep and the only word Louis’ brain could think to describe him was <em> adorable </em>.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, was just trying to- surprise you,” Louis muttered, fanning the smoke away from his face. Harry walked closer, looking at the shriveled up supposed-to-be pancake and chuckled.</p><p>“By burning down the kitchen while I was asleep?”</p><p>Louis shoved Harry playfully, unable to even pretend he was annoyed. </p><p>“Guess I’m not as good as a cook as you.”</p><p>Harry shook his head, “Not even close. Come on, let’s just eat some cereal.”</p><p>Louis agreed. No way he could burn <em> that </em>.</p><p> </p><p>~ ~ ~</p><p> </p><p>One of Louis’ earliest memories was the day him and Harry went to the amusement park and rode nothing because Harry was scared shitless. He had always looked back on that day with a certain sort of fondness- they’d been so little and Harry had been so <em> precious </em>. </p><p>It was honestly one of Louis’ first memories, besides the time Gemma had run around their front yard with a frog, terrorizing Harry...</p><p>They’d never gone back to that place, mostly because Harry still wasn’t sure if he had overcome his fear of the rides yet and he never felt like testing that theory. Neither of them really ever talked about it, but he was pretty sure Harry was still scared.</p><p>Well, Louis was ready to find out for sure.</p><p>“Lou. Why can’t you just tell me where we’re going?”</p><p>“Because it’s a surprise.”</p><p>“I hate surprises!”</p><p>“Too bad.”</p><p>Harry groaned, banging his head against the window of the train in exasperation. His soft curls flopped against his forehead and Louis had to restrain himself from reaching out and tucking them behind his ear.</p><p>“You’re impossible,” Harry grumbled, eyes darting from the view outside to Louis and back again. Louis got up from his seat across from Harry, plopping down heavily next to the boy and intertwining their fingers. He lifted their hands until the back of Harry’s was against his cheek, nuzzling against it.</p><p>“But you love me.”</p><p>Harry looked down at Louis in exasperation that was quickly melting into fondness. “Whatever,” he muttered, turning back to look out the window to conceal the growing smile and rising blush on his face. </p><p>When they got to their stop, Louis dragged Harry off the train, the latter demanding to know where they were going the entire time.</p><p>“Haz! You’ll see in like, two minutes. Calm your tits!”</p><p>Harry gave him the saddest, most heart-wrenching pout he could muster. It made Louis feel kind of bad, even though he really wasn’t doing anything wrong. It also made Louis feel… something else. Something- weird. He couldn’t help but quickly lean over and grab a hold of Harry’s face, pulling him closer to press a quick, tiny peck on his cheek. Startled, Harry turned the color of freshly picked strawberries, eyes widening comically.</p><p>At least he’d stopped pouting. And stopped pestering.</p><p>Whenever the tallest ride finally came in sight, Harry practically whimpered and immediately made to turn around. Louis caught him by the arm, spinning him back to face the park.</p><p>“<em>Louuuu </em> ,” Harry whined, pout back to see the light of day once again, “you <em> know </em> I’m scared of rollercoasters!”</p><p>“Haz, you’ve never even been on one! How do you know that you don’t love them? Maybe you’re some kind of adrenaline junkie in disguise!”</p><p>Harry scoffed, looking at Louis like he was stupid.</p><p>“Me, an adrenaline junkie? I don’t think so.”</p><p>The second time he turned around to start walking back to the train, Louis grabbed him by the waist and pulled his back flush against his tummy.</p><p>“Look,” Louis started, holding Harry’s now limp body close to his, “we’ll start small. Like- the teacups! If you like it, we can keep working our way up to the bigger things. And if not, we can just play games. Is that ok?”</p><p>It took awhile for Harry to respond, almost as if he’d lost the ability to speak. From what Louis could see, his face was beet red and almost dazed, eyes glazed over and looking far, far away.</p><p>“Haz?” Louis prodded, a little worried about him. He really wasn’t going to push him. If he didn’t want to do something, then they wouldn’t do it. Simple as that.</p><p>As if startled awake, Harry jumped to attention. “Oh! Er, I mean- ok. Fine. That’s… that’s fine.”</p><p>“Um. You sure?”</p><p>Harry tilted his head to the side, sending Louis a slightly reassuring, slightly nervous smile. “As long as you ride everything with me.”</p><p>Louis grinned. “Of course.”</p><p> </p><p>~ ~ ~</p><p> </p><p>Harry was a total adrenaline junkee.</p><p>They started small like Louis had suggested- the teacups, the airplane where you lay on your belly and get spun around, the shorter set of swings- then they worked their way up. Harry quickly wanted to go on his first actual roller coaster, practically dragging Louis by the hand to the line.</p><p>“I thought you didn’t like roller coasters!”</p><p>“Changed my mind.”</p><p>Louis giggled. He <em> knew </em> this was going to happen.</p><p>As they waited in the fairly long line, Harry started to get a bit more nervous, especially when a car of screaming children passed by on the loop-de-loop.</p><p>“Oh shit. I didn’t know it went upside down!” Harry groaned, looking very much like he was second guessing himself. Nope. Not on Louis’ watch.</p><p>“I promise, you can’t even tell. Trust me. It goes so fast that you won’t even know you’re upside down.”</p><p>Harry’s face paled.</p><p>“It goes <em> that </em>fast?”</p><p>Louis sighed, laughing just a tiny bit. He grabbed Harry’s hand, squeezing it tightly to reassure the boy. Huh. He’d just noticed that Harry’s hand was already bigger than his. The kid was going to be a <em> giant </em> in a few years.</p><p>“It’s fun! You’re going to love it.”</p><p>Before Harry could protest further, the bored teenager who was working at the ride opened the gate, gesturing impatiently for them to take their seats. When Harry didn’t move, Louis put his hand on the small of his back, giving him a gentle push.</p><p>“You could hold my hand if you want.”</p><p>“I know you’re probably mostly joking,” Harry said, finally moving to take his seat, “but I will most definitely be holding your hand.”</p><p>Once they were finally seated and strapped in, Louis peaked over the shoulder bar separating them to grin brightly at a very nervous Harry. They were in separate seats, but close enough for Louis to be able to easily reach over and hold Harry’s hand.</p><p>“I wasn’t joking.”</p><p>Harry blushed.</p><p>“Right,” started the teenager over the loudspeaker in a dull, monotone voice, “don’t let go of the handles, don’t unbuckle your seatbelt or remove your lap bar, and please, for the love of god, try not to puke. I’m sick of cleaning up after you pricks. Enjoy your ride on the <em> Superman: Krypton Coaster. </em> Good luck.”</p><p>Their car lurched forward and Harry yelped, gripping Louis’ hand with his own sweaty one. For the sake of his friend, Louis tried his hardest to not laugh at him. It was his first time on a roller coaster, he could at least <em> hide </em>his laughs.</p><p>“Um, Lou?” Harry asked in a shaky, timid voice.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“I- uh. I don’t like this.”</p><p>They had started to slowly make their way up, Harry’s grip on Louis’ hand even tighter. His fingernails dug sharply into the back of his palm, sure to leave half-crescent marks for the next few hours. </p><p>Louis smiled reassuringly. “Haz, I promise. It’s a lot of fun, ok?”</p><p>Harry nodded, not looking any more relaxed.</p><p>“And anyways, the only way off now is to go through it.”</p><p>“Fuck off.” Harry muttered, Louis finally pulling a laugh out of the scared boy. They were now practically laying straight on their backs, unable to even see the tracks anymore. Then, the ride evened out. And- they weren’t moving?</p><p> Louis could tell that Harry was confused for a moment until he looked over to his left and muttered, “Oh, fuck” right as they shot down fast and quickly back up again into a large loop-de-loop.</p><p>The air was filled with the sounds of little kids (and Harry) screaming loudly. Louis could feel his stomach fly away from his body as they were flipped upside down, Harry dropping his hand pretty quickly to grip his handlebar. </p><p>There was another drop, Louis’ stomach <em> definitely </em> leaving his body on that one, followed by not a loop-de-loop, but the track basically flipping upside down. His head felt a little dizzy but he couldn’t stop laughing, adrenaline pumping through his veins and making him feel all giddy and happy-go-lucky.</p><p>After the second loop-de-loop, Harry must’ve been getting used to the ride because he too began to giggle manically. When a little boy in front of them lifted his arms in the air and shouted, “Look, mum! I’m not holding on!”, Harry did the same. </p><p>It was a really fast roller coaster with tons of drops and flips, leaving Louis feeling extremely disoriented. He really hadn’t been lying to Harry when he’d said that you couldn’t tell up from down on this roller coaster.</p><p>The bright flash of a camera blinded the boys and Louis groaned in between his screams, knowing he would look absolutely ridiculous in the photo they’d just snapped. But, hey. Memories.</p><p>When the last loop-de-loop was over, the ride slowed down, starting it’s return to where it rested. Louis peaked over his seat to find Harry wide eyed, cheeks flushed and hair an absolute bird's nest. The biggest grin was plastered over his face, Louis unable to not copy it.</p><p>“So?” Louis questioned excitedly, already knowing what Harry was going to say.</p><p>“Let’s do it again!”</p><p>Before they got back in line, they went to go look at the picture of them. They both doubled over in laughter at the other’s facial expression.</p><p>“You look ridiculous!” Harry cackled, holding his stomach with one hand and pointing at Louis in the picture with the other.</p><p>Louis’ eyes were extremely wide, almost as if they’d been taped open, and he had an almost painful smile on his face. The wind whipped through his hair, making him look bald from one angle.</p><p>“And you look any better?!”</p><p>In contrast to Louis, Harry has his eyes squeezed shut. His hair was parted oddly down the middle, shoved away from his forehead and looking utterly insane. His nose was all crinkled up, mouth in a thin, straight line. He looked constipated.</p><p>“Ok. We both look horrible.”</p><p>So of course, they each bought a copy. </p><p>Harry made them ride it three more times consecutively before they went on any other roller coasters. Louis was pretty sure he didn’t even have a stomach anymore.</p><p>They rode the Batman and the Joker and Goliath and the Titan- literally every ride at the park- more times than Louis could count. By the time they’d finished, it had been well over six hours and Louis felt like he’d be sick if they rode anymore. Harry, the bastard, felt perfectly fine.</p><p>The sky was beginning to darken as they got back on the train. Louis was so exhausted that he was sure he could’ve slept the whole ride home, except Harry wouldn’t stop raving on about all of the roller coaster’s.</p><p>“Superman was obviously the best. And Wonder Woman- eh. It was the only one that actually made me feel sick. I think I actually might have blacked out for a bit… oh, but Batman! That one was sick!! It was so short though…”</p><p>Louis found it adorable how obsessed Harry had quickly become with roller coasters. A few hours earlier, he’d been scared shitless. Now, he liked them more than Louis did.</p><p>He was <em> such </em>an adrenaline junkee.</p><p>They decided to stay at Harry’s that night because his bed was bigger and more comfortable and they were too tired to do anything other than sleep. Also, there would be no crying babies to wake them up in the middle of the night.</p><p>Ah. Sweet, sweet silence.</p><p>He really wished he could just live with Harry.</p><p>Harry was extra cuddly that night, almost as if he was trying to show his gratitude to Louis for introducing him to the wondrous world of roller coasters. The moment Louis had climbed into bed, Harry dragged him close, wrapping Louis’ arms around his waist so Louis was spooning him. His hair smelled like strawberries.</p><p>“We should go to Florida one day, just you and me. We can go to Disney World and Universal Studios and ride everything they have, every single roller coaster-”</p><p>“I’d like that.” Louis mumbled sleepily with a tiny smile, curling his legs up closer to his body and pulling Harry even closer to his chest. Harry went easily, holding Louis’ arms that much tighter around his waist. Louis could practically feel Harry’s growing smile.</p><p>“Did you hear the rumor about them building a Harry Potter themed park in Florida?” Harry asked, already half asleep. Louis hummed.</p><p>“That would be nice. We could-,” a yawn interrupted his sentence, “we could fly over the Black Lake on a Hippogriff together, play Quidditch. I’d beat your ass.”</p><p>Harry giggled, nuzzling his head under Louis’ chin.</p><p>He said something else, something soft and quiet,  but Louis missed it as sleep enveloped his brain and the only thing he could register was the smell of sweet fruit and the warm hand resting on top of his own. </p><p> </p><p>~~~</p><p> </p><p>“So. What did you plan for today?”</p><p>Louis groaned, stretching his arms high above his head and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. It was so<em> early, </em> how was Harry up already?</p><p>“Um. Lou?”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>Harry laughed. Louis wasn’t sure why, but then again, his brain was always a bit slow to work in the mornings.</p><p>“I <em> said, </em> what are we doing today?”</p><p>What were they doing again?</p><p>“You remember Zayn?”</p><p>Harry’s body stiffened up briefly. “Yes. Why?”</p><p>“He got me this record player last week. Thought we could go to the record store and find some vinyls,” Louis grumbled tiredly, still not opening his eyes.</p><p>“Oh.” Louis could feel Harry relax beside him, but his mind wasn’t awake enough to question why he was tense in the first place. “Ok, are we going now?”</p><p>Laughing sarcastically, Louis blindly reached out and grabbed Harry by the wrist, pulling him back into bed.</p><p>“I refuse to leave before noon. Sleep.”</p><p>With a giggle, Harry wrapped his arms around Louis’ waist, snuggling up to him.</p><p>“You’re so lazy, Lewis.”</p><p>“Fuck off, Harold.”</p><p> </p><p>~~~</p><p> </p><p>The record store was one of the greatest places Louis had ever been in his life.</p><p>Stacks on stacks of vinyls lined all four walls, not to mention the huge boxes of them in the middle of the store. Louis was pretty sure that every album ever was here in this room. The lighting was dim, Mott the Hoople’s <em> All The Young Dudes </em> playing softly throughout the room. It had an old smell, like it had been there for ages, but it wasn’t dirty. It reminded Louis of the comforting smell of old books in the back corner of a quiet library.</p><p>He realized that newer records, like <em> American Idiot </em> and <em> Hot Fuss </em> were hung carefully on the walls and older records, such as <em> Goats Head Soup </em> and <em> Diamond Dogs </em> were stacked in the middle of the room.</p><p>Pulling Harry along, he made a beeline to the center stacks.</p><p>The two of them shuffled through the records, both of them wanting to buy them all. Running his fingers along the edges of the covers was intensely therapeutic and Louis wished he could just live in that store.</p><p>They ended up going home with <em> Dark Side of the Moon, Elton John, </em> and <em> Electric Warrior </em>, a nice selection in Louis’ opinion. Louis had never been a very big music guy until he’d met Zayn, but now, he was obsessed. The fact that his best friend was also extremely talented in the field and had the voice of an angel helped too. </p><p>They hurried to Louis’ room, closing the door behind them and setting the first record on the player. </p><p>As the two boys flopped onto Louis’ bed, the sounds of a steady heart beat from the record player filled the room, almost perfectly matching Louis’. </p><p>
  <em>I’ve been mad for fucking years, absolutely years </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Been over the edge for yonks</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Been working me buns off for bands</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’ve always been mad, I know I’ve been mad</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Like the most of us, very hard to explain why you’re mad</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Even if you’re not mad</em>
</p><p>Louis loved every aspect about this album. He loved how all of the songs connected so smoothly, making it impossible to decipher the ending of one from the beginning of the next. He loved the story each song told, the story the entire album told. He loved all of the instrumental sections, their raspy, crooning voices.</p><p>He loved how intensely focused Harry seemed to be on the music. He loved Harry’s little giggles at all of the sound effects in the songs. He loved how Harry turned his head to the side to look at Louis during <em> Us And Them </em> and how he sang all of the lyrics to him, as if Harry himself had written the song  just for Louis. </p><p>Harry had <em> such </em>a lovely voice. It became harder and harder for Louis to listen to the voices coming from the record player when all he really wanted to do was listen to Harry sing. He was tempted to remove the vinyl and let Harry sing solo.</p><p>Next, they put on <em> Electric Warrior. </em> Harry absolutely adored <em> Mambo Sun, </em>claiming it made him “really fucking happy”, and he made Louis get off the bed and dance with him.</p><p>“Beneath the bebop moon, I want to croon… <em> with you! </em>” Harry twirled Louis around his bedroom, singing the lyrics loud enough to make Louis giggle. Harry spun him around grandly, grabbing his hand again and putting it back onto his own waist.</p><p>“Beneath the mambo sun, I got to be the one… <em> with you!! </em>”</p><p>Louis laughed at the strange, exaggerated faces Harry pulled when he sang, the awkward little dances he did.</p><p>It was a catchy, upbeat song and by the time it was over, they were both red in the face and dizzy from all the spinning and dancing and laughing. Harry let go of Louis’ hands, and Louis frowned at how cold he suddenly felt. </p><p><em>Jeepster </em> was another favorite of Harry’s, because he liked the more upbeat songs to dance like a fool to, but Louis had always preferred <em> Monolith.</em></p><p>“Mr. Harold Edward Styles?” Louis asked, very formal like. He walked over to Harry, extending his arm. “May I have this dance?”</p><p>Giggling, Harry knocked Louis’ hand away and instead, wrapped his arms around Louis’ neck. They were both giggling, although Louis’ stomach had started to feel a bit funny. Not to mention, the room felt about twenty degrees warmer and his face felt like it was on fire.</p><p>By the time they’d listened through the first two records, they were both exhausted from dancing so much. They went to lay back on the bed, when Harry gasped.</p><p>“Lou! We can’t just <em> not </em>dance to this song!”</p><p>“But I’m <em> tired </em>.” Louis whined, grabbing his pillow and shoving it on top of his face. Huffing, Harry threw the pillow aside and put his face directly over Louis’. He was pouting, green eyes large and sad, and Louis knew he’d already won. Shit, he was wrapped around the boy’s finger.</p><p>“You’re a bloody<em> menace. </em>” Louis grumbled, slowly standing up. </p><p>“Awe, but you love me!”</p><p>Failing to suppress a smile, Louis responded, “Don’t remind me.”</p><p>As he turned to face Harry in the middle of his bedroom, he suddenly got nervous. He hadn’t really processed exactly what song Harry had wanted to dance to, and now that he had, it felt almost- intimate.</p><p>
  <em>I know it’s not much but it’s the best I can do</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My gift is my song and, this one’s for you.</em>
</p><p>Harry shyly reached for Louis’ hand, placing his left hand on Louis’ shoulder. Louis put his own on Harry’s waist, stomach doing flips. His heart was racing and he desperately hoped Harry couldn’t hear it.</p><p>The fact that Harry appeared to be slightly nervous as well should’ve comforted him, but it just made him feel more confused. </p><p>They started to slowly dance in time to the music, Louis leading. His heart was bursting with so many emotions and was unable to name a single one. He tried to remind himself that this was just Harry, that they did this all the time, as <em> friends. </em> It was nothing like- like that. Just friends. Friends, slow dancing to Elton John, staring at each other like they’re the only other people left on this earth.</p><p>As- friends. Duh.</p><p>When Harry started to whisper the words to the song under his breath, Louis was gone. He felt like his heart was literally bursting at the seams.</p><p>“And you can tell everybody, this is your song.”</p><p><em>His song </em>.</p><p>It was hard to not think that Harry had written this for Louis when he looked at him like that. </p><p>“It may be quite simple, but now that it’s done. I hope you don’t mind, I hope you don’t mind, that I put down in the words,”</p><p>Louis knew he would never mind anything Harry did. Harry could stab him in the chest and Louis would be the one falling to his knees in apology. </p><p>“How wonderful life is while you’re in the world.”</p><p>It took all of Louis’ willpower to not let his eyes get watery. He was dangerously close to tears for seemingly no reason, and that would just be too embarrassing to explain to Harry. Although, the younger boy looked fairly emotional himself…</p><p>The song ended and it took the moment along with it. Harry let go of Louis’ hand and they took a step away from each other as if they’d just been electrically shocked. Never before had Louis found it so hard to look at his best friend, never before had things felt so- awkward.</p><p>It felt like something had just changed between them, and Louis wasn’t sure what it meant. He couldn’t tell if it was good or not. Dread built up in the lowest pit of his stomach when Harry awkwardly cleared his throat and turned around, not making eye contact with Louis again for the remainder of the album.</p><p>Yeah. Not good.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Late Teens</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>New friends, a little sadder, university time :(<br/>But it obviously gets happy :))</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> Harry - 2010 </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Harry didn’t think he’d ever been so upset in his life.</p><p>Of course, there was that time that Harry and Louis had gotten in a fight, but at least Louis had still <em> been </em> there. They weren’t talking, but he was still a thirty second walk away. Now, he was leaving.</p><p>It was the last day of the school year, the last day Louis would be going to school with Harry. They had two months left before Louis left.</p><p>And Harry had never been more unprepared for something in his life.</p><p>Being the younger of the two, Harry hadn’t lived a second of his life without Louis by his side. Louis was the greatest constant in his life, his best friend, his shoulder to lean on, his occasional pain in the arse, but nonetheless, he was Harry’s person. He was Harry’s <em> person </em> and he was about to be <em> gone </em> and Harry had never been so <em> upset </em>.</p><p>From the moment he got his acceptance letter to university, Louis had sworn that they would still see each other often, that hardly anything would change. It was only a four hour drive, you didn’t even need a plane. That wasn’t so bad!</p><p>But after being attached at the hip for the past sixteen years, four hours felt like a lifetime away. He was pretty sure he’d never gone more than a week without seeing Louis.</p><p>Their last day of school ended at noon, which basically meant nobody had to do anything. Exams had finished nearly a month ago so most of May and early June had just been days to fuck around with your mates before they left and you inevitably never saw them again.</p><p>It was more depressing than it should’ve been.</p><p>When Harry knocked on Louis’ front door, he could already feel a tight knot build up in his stomach. Louis opened the door, and Harry’s throat felt like it was closing in on itself. Louis smiled, and Harry’s eyes began to water. </p><p>Without any words, Louis surged forwards and pulled Harry into a tight, bone-crushing hug. Harry exhaled shakily, wrapping his arms around Louis’ neck in a death grip as if he would disappear at any moment. He <em> would </em> be disappearing in a few months. </p><p>Maybe if Harry held on tight enough, he’d never leave.</p><p>When Louis finally released him, Harry was close to tears. How was he ever going to make it through the next two years of school without Louis there?</p><p>“We still have all summer.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“And I’ll visit. A lot.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>“And for the holidays, I’ll spend weeks down here.”</p><p>"Ok.”</p><p>Louis turned to look at Harry with a sad smile, reaching over and grabbing his hand.</p><p>“We’re going to be ok.”</p><p><em>We. </em> Not <em> it </em> or <em> you </em> , but <em> we. </em> That just made it hurt more.</p><p>When Louis slipped his smaller hand in his, Harry’s heart jumped to his throat. A tingle of electricity shot up his arm and he prayed to all the gods above that Louis couldn’t hear his rapidly beating heart.</p><p>The sun was slowly making its ascent above the horizon. Soon, the world was draped in gold and Louis was draped in gold and he looked so beautiful right then that it physically hurt Harry to look at him. </p><p>Holding Louis’ hand felt different now. It used to be second nature, practically a reflex, just one of their little things they did. But things changed, it felt different now, it had been slowly killing Harry. He knew it shouldn’t mean anything, that it never <em> had </em> meant anything and it still didn’t, but man, feelings were a <em> bitch </em>. And Harry had plenty of feelings for Louis. </p><p>Not the platonic ones either.</p><p>It had been a painful realization, but Harry couldn’t deny it any longer. It made everything so much clearer- why he’d never been interested in any girls, why seeing Louis be interested in girls felt like a stab to his chest, why the only person Harry ever wanted to be with was Louis…</p><p>The fact that it took him so long to realize he had a crush on his best friend was honestly laughable, except it was too painful to laugh about so Harry mostly pushed those thoughts aside.</p><p>He was very good at avoiding problems.</p><p>So, hand holding was an issue. It made Harry’s heart and mind race a million miles a minute and he felt like a love sick puppy every time their fingers laced together. It was even worse when Louis did that thing with his thumb where he traced those tiny, soft circles on the back of his hand. But… what could he even do about that? How would he even <em> tell </em> Louis that??</p><p>
  <em>"Hey, Lou? I know we’ve been best friends forever and we’ve always held hands because it means nothing or whatever but I’ve been crushing on you for a while now and every time you hold my hand, I feel like I’m literally going to puke. And that endearing thing you do with your thumb? Yeah, it makes me want to pin you against the wall and make out with you until I can’t breath. Or maybe just hug you tight and spill all my feelings for you. Just thought you should know!” </em>
</p><p>Yeah… no.</p><p>The school was finally in view and Harry drew in a harsh breath, Louis squeezing his hand before he could speak.</p><p>“Well. Here we go.”</p><p>Harry laughed sadly out of his nose, turning to look at Louis one last time before they walked inside. </p><p>He’d changed a lot over the years, but then again, so had Harry. Louis’ hair was longer now, nowhere near Harry’s length, but fairly shaggy. It was so soft. He was a full three inches shorter than Harry which Louis liked to complain about, but it was obvious he secretly loved it. With the warming weather, his skin was tanner and the dozens of freckles along the bridge of his nose and dotted on his cheeks were more prominent. His lashes brushed his cheeks when his clear, blue eyes closed. He had pink, pink lips and the lightest of blushes on his cheeks and the sun shone directly in his eyes making them glimmer like there were real sparkles there and Harry wanted to kiss him so bad…</p><p>“We’ll be ok.”</p><p>~~~</p><p>Harry felt so silly.</p><p>There was an end of the year party going on at the Payne’s house, <em> Louis </em> was at that party, and Harry was hiding in his bed, sheets piled over his head to block the sun and all of his problems out.</p><p>His mum had asked what was wrong, and he’d said he had a stomach ache. It wasn’t entirely false because thinking about Louis leaving did make him feel nauseous, but it wasn’t the full truth either.</p><p>Part of him wanted to spend every waking second with Louis before he was gone, but another part of him wanted to avoid him completely. It felt like the more he saw him, the more real the whole situation felt. Avoiding problems like this was healthy, right?</p><p>Ha. Totally.</p><p>His phone had been buzzing like a damn beehive, so he turned it completely off and threw it on the foot of his bed, further burrowing under his warm cocoon. He must’ve drifted off because he was suddenly jolted awake what felt like only seconds later by furious knocks on his door. Eyes shooting open, he took note of the pitch black room he was in. He must’ve been asleep for at least two hours.</p><p>“Harold Edward Styles, get your arse out here! You’re not ill, you bloody prick!”</p><p>Harry’s stomach sank and he sunk even deeper into his mattress, staying silent.</p><p>There was a loud groan, followed by silence. Harry assumed Louis had left until he heard a series of clicks and the door was being thrown open.</p><p>“How the fuck did you do that?” Harry grumbled, turning on his left side to stare at the wall. His heart was in his throat already.</p><p>“Stole a bobby pin from Lottie.” Louis explained briefly, closing the door behind him and clicking the lamp on. He didn’t sound angry which made Harry feel even worse. The bed dipped on his right side. “Haz, what’s going on?”</p><p>Harry huffed. <em> I’m in love with you, you fucking dick. How dare you let me fall for you? How could you? You’ve ruined my goddamn life but I wouldn’t change it for the world to be honest because you’re the best thing that’s happened to me. It’s pathetic. I’m pathetic. And I want you so, so bad and it’s all so damn pathetic... </em></p><p>“Nothing.”</p><p>Scoffing, Louis wrestled the duvet out of Harry’s tight grip and slid into the small space behind Harry. His scent and body heat was overwhelming and Harry felt like bloody Simone Biles had taken refuge in his stomach.</p><p>“Something’s definitely wrong.” He paused. “And I don’t think it’s just about me leaving.”</p><p>Harry’s heart seized. <em> Did he know? </em></p><p>How would he have even figured it out? Harry definitely hadn’t told anybody, but maybe he was being too obvious about it? Shit, he was probably being so obvious about it...</p><p>When Harry didn’t respond, Louis sighed almost sadly and scooted even closer until he was fully spooning Harry and Harry fully wanted to die. Did Louis really not understand how badly he affected Harry? How badly his touch made Harry’s heart race, or his skin flush, or his stomach turn? How even the mere thought of the boy had his heart melting to a puddle?</p><p>“Haz, you can tell me anything, I’d never judge and you know that. I promise.”</p><p>An extremely sudden, heart-wrenching sob ripped out of Harry’s chest. It came out of nowhere and surprised Harry more than it did Louis. He tried to quickly clamp his hand over his mouth, but Louis had obviously heard it, the damage was done.</p><p>“Oh, Haz…”</p><p>Louis wrapped his arms tight around his middle, nuzzling his nose into Harry’s neck. It was supposed to be comforting but it just made Harry cry harder.</p><p>“I-I’m so s-sorry,” Harry stumbled through his onslaught of tears, “I c-can’t tell you!”</p><p>He was practically wailing at this point, the most embarrassing sounds escaping his mouth, but it was like the dam had finally broken and there was no way of stopping it now until all the water had passed through and he felt lighter again. He was shaking like a leaf. Louis held him tighter with each sob until their bodies were practically one, thumb gently stroking his tear stained cheek.</p><p>“It’s ok, Haz, don’t apologize. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.”</p><p>Harry shook his head.</p><p>“N-no. I <em> want </em> to, but I… I can’t.”</p><p>Louis was silent for a moment before he sat up. Harry whimpered embarrassingly at the loss of his comforting warmth, scared he was leaving, but then Louis was pulling him up to a sitting position as well and gathering him up in his lap. Harry felt like a small child as he wrapped his arms around Louis’ neck, burying his face in his chest and crying uncontrollably. God, he was going to cringe so hard about this later.</p><p>“Then how about neither of us talk. We’ll just lay here and fall asleep and talk again in the morning. Or not. We can just be mute for a while if you want.”</p><p>A tiny, reluctant giggle escaped Harry’s mouth and he nodded against Louis’ chest. He reached a hand up to wipe his tears away but Louis knocked it away, doing it himself. His blue eyes were brimming with concern and maybe something else as he brushed his soft fingers under Harry’s wet eyes. Both of them froze briefly, the moment feeling suddenly tense. Their faces were so close...</p><p>“Lemme get the light,” Louis whispered, slowly untangling Harry to stand up and turn off the lamp. Harry blushed when he saw the large tear stain on the front of Louis’ shirt, but Louis didn’t seem to even notice it.</p><p>Harry crawled back under the duvet, tears finally subsiding. He was exhausted now. When Louis joined him, Harry latched on like a koala bear and pulled their bodies as close together as humanly possible.</p><p>Being so close to something he knew he couldn’t have hurt, but his exhaustion and his desire to be held by Louis won out, so he let himself have it. Maybe he would regret it in the morning, but he simply couldn’t care about that right then.</p><p>As Harry began to drift off, the sound of Louis’ voice filled his ears. Harry recognized that he was humming a lullaby he used to sing to the twins to help them fall asleep. Harry didn’t know the words, but the melody was calming and Louis’ voice was so soft that he was out within seconds.</p><p>His dreams that night were filled with a sweet, sweet voice humming the gentle tones of some lullaby that Harry didn’t know but would never forget. </p><p>~~~</p><p>When Louis left for university, Harry didn’t cry. He’d shed plenty of tears over it and he was pretty sure he was out at this point. </p><p>It was weird, not having Louis next door anymore. Lottie and the twins were still there, their dog Ted was still there, but Louis was gone. Life still moved on, but Louis wasn’t there to move with it. With both Gemma and Louis gone, Harry quickly realized he didn’t have many other friends.</p><p>He had acquaintances, people who would wave at him in the hallway or maybe even shoot him a smile across the classroom, but not many other friends. He’d never really seen the point of having anyone else when he had Louis, but he was sort of regretting that now.</p><p>Eventually, Liz and Liam became the new constant in Harry’s life, as had the new boy at school, Niall. He was a funny guy, extremely loud, sometimes bordering on obnoxious. His peppy, excitable personality worked well to fill the void in Harry’s life that Louis had left.</p><p>Wow. He sounded pathetic.</p><p>Louis had been gone for nearly a month now and they’d already seen each other twice. The first time, Harry had driven down to his apartment to help him unpack the rest of his things. When they finished, they didn’t speak much. They just laid in Louis’ bed for hours, soaking in each other’s presence. Harry felt like he simply couldn’t get enough of his friend.</p><p>Louis had visited last weekend, surprising Harry with a trip to the amusement park. It had been just as fun as the last time they’d gone, maybe even more-so since they were so excited to be reunited. Harry was still an adrenaline junkee and Louis was still smug about being right about Harry loving roller coasters. Really, not much had changed at all.</p><p>It was definitely weird, but it was manageable. He had Liam and Liz and Niall and his cat, so he was pretty sure he’d be ok.</p><p>“I don’t think Tommo likes me very much.”</p><p>The twins, Niall, and Louis were at lunch, sitting together like they always did. The arrangement was fairly new and definitely weird without Louis’ obnoxious eating habits and loud jokes, but it wasn’t terrible. He liked these friends well enough, so he was managing fine.</p><p>“Huh? Why not?”</p><p>Niall shrugged, distractedly sloshing the water in his bottle back and forth.</p><p>“Did you not see that dirty look he gave me yesterday? When he came to pick you up? I thought that was it for me…” Niall paused, then shuddered. Harry laughed at his dramatics.</p><p>“Oh come on, he didn’t glare at you. I’m sure he liked you plenty,” Harry insisted, confused on why Niall would even think that. Louis had been nothing but happy yesterday and hadn’t said a word about Niall, neither good nor bad. </p><p>Niall fixed him with a hard stare. “Mate, when you hugged me goodbye, he practically <em> fumed. </em>I mean, I saw literal smoke come out of his ears.” Then, a little smirk took over his face. “I think Tommo may be a little jealous!”</p><p>Harry spluttered, face heating up. “Jealous? Of <em> what </em>?”</p><p>“Um,” Liam piped in, amused, “how about… everything?”</p><p>Before Harry could ask what <em> that </em> was supposed to me, Liz giggled, turning to her brother. “Literally <em> everything </em> . Do you remember that time in grade five when Harry and I traded lollipops and Louis cursed at me? We were tiny children and he <em> cursed </em> at me!”</p><p>Liam laughed loudly, head thrown back and everything. “Oh my god, I remember that! Or the time in grade six when Harry and I got partnered up and I didn’t want to switch with Louis because Harry was the best in the class at history? And Louis bloody threatened me with safety scissors?!”</p><p>Soon, stories of Louis’ apparent jealousy were being tossed back and forth across the table and Harry was utterly confused. He’d been friends with Louis for over sixteen years and not once had he pegged him for the jealous type. And anyways, what would he have to be jealous <em> of </em>?</p><p>“I don’t get the point of this.”</p><p>His three friends turned on him with matching incredulous faces as if he’d just said the stupidest thing ever.</p><p>“Mate,” Niall started, “you’re serious?”</p><p>Harry pouted. “Yes! I’m confused!”</p><p>Liz looked at him almost sympathetically before grinning, resting her elbows on the lunch table and holding her face in her hands. She leaned in closer to him as if she was about to share a secret.</p><p>“In simple terms, Louis is jealous as fuck. I’m pretty sure every time you’re with someone that’s not him, he’s planning a murder in his head.”</p><p>In an attempt to stamp out the stupid butterflies in his stomach over hearing that Louis got <em> jealous </em> over him, Harry tried for a frown.</p><p>“You make him sound like some obsessed stalker… which he’s not.”</p><p>The table went silent, before, “He almost killed me last night!”</p><p>Niall’s sarcastic comment set off another round of “jealous Louis” stories and lots more laughter, but Harry couldn’t focus on any of them. He couldn’t help but wonder if it was true, if Louis really <em> did </em> get jealous. It made sense in a way, and Harry knew he got the exact same way, so it wasn’t <em> that </em> far-fetched. </p><p>But then he reminded himself that thinking like that, that silly hopeful wishing, would do nothing but crush him. He couldn’t get his hopes up like that when he logically knew that he’d just get himself hurt in the end. For all Harry knew, Louis was straight and entirely<em> not </em>in love with his best friend. It was most likely just a friend jealousy thing. That was real, right?</p><p>Whatever it was, all this talk of Louis had Harry wishing even more that he was there with them. He <em> literally </em> saw him yesterday, not even twenty four hours ago, but who knew how long it would be until the next time. It might not even be until the winter holidays, and that was nearly three months away.</p><p>Maybe in those three months, he could find a way to sweep his feelings under a rug and pretend they never existed. Maybe he could move on, stop thinking of Louis as anything more than his best friend.</p><p>Heh. A boy can dream.</p><p><br/>
<em>Louis - 2011</em>
</p><p> </p><p>God, the second year was so much worse than the first. </p><p>He had so much more work, Harry did too. It was getting harder and harder for them to find time to see each other. More often than not, they ended up just skyping. It was better than nothing, but it still sucked.</p><p>Louis found himself toying with the green bracelet around his wrist a lot more than usual. It was a nice, comforting reminder that Harry was out there and still connected with him in some way, even if it was just through a few pieces of string tied together. What had started out as a nervous tick and his good luck charm had turned into a sort of life line.</p><p>Over the years, their bracelets had faced some hardships. Harry’s was frayed terribly at the ends, little pieces of it falling off when he messed with too much. Louis’ was severely discolored now from him absentmindedly rubbing his fingers over it all the time. They’d both been stretched terribly and hardly ever sat right on their wrists, but they still wore them, always. </p><p>His roommate had once made some snide remark about the whole friendship bracelet thing being a “sissy thing to do” and Louis had almost committed several crimes that day. It was a damn <em> bracelet </em>.</p><p>Louis was pretty sure his roommate was sick of him. The feeling was mutual.</p><p>They were in the same year, both boys, but that’s where the similarities ended. Ryan was tall, broad, and played rugby. He was an aspiring drunk and always smelled like weed and dog piss. Louis was pretty sure he was majoring in partying or some shit because he’d never once seen him do any classwork. He’d seen him at the library <em> once </em> and he wasn’t even <em> working, </em> he’d just been getting a blowjob under the table!</p><p>If he wasn’t partying or playing rugby or hung over somewhere on campus, he was bringing a girl to his bedroom and being very, <em> very </em> loud about it. It never lasted very long, but it was a miserable five minutes for Louis. Probably for the girl too.</p><p>Ryan was mean and loud (in a bad way) and he tossed around homophobic slurs like they were nothing... Louis hated the guy.</p><p>And the guy hated Louis for many reasons, the biggest of them being how he was skyping Harry “all the fucking time.”</p><p>
  <em>“You and your goddamn twink woke me up last night! We got a match tomorrow and I can’t get no sleep with the two of you sissy’s flirting all night! Go jerk off with him in someone else’s house, for fucks sake.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“We aren’t boyfriends, and we don’t flirt… or jerk off with each other for that matter.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I don’t give a fuck! Still woke me up, you dick!”</em>
</p><p>University was lovely.</p><p>His classes were boring, the people were boring, his roommate was a prick, neither of them could cook for shit, and he so desperately wished Harry was here with him.</p><p>Harry had applied a few months back, meaning his letter should be arriving any day now. Louis just had to hope Harry got in so he could kick Ryan to the curb and move Harry in with him. Ryan could sleep on one of his buddies’ couches, or maybe the rugby field for all Louis cared. He refused to live with the guy for another year. It would most definitely end in one of them committing homicide.</p><p>When his final lecture of the day ended, Louis practically sprinted to his apartment. Thankfully, Ryan was gone. Probably passed out drunk in the bushes- again. Good.</p><p>Louis opened his laptop, signing in and pulling up Skype. He grinned when he saw that Harry was already waiting for him.</p><p>Louis picked up the call and before he could even register Harry’s face, he was shouting, “Lou! My letter came!!”</p><p>Eyes widening, Louis’ heart beat in double time. He hadn’t even realized how anxious he’d been for Harry’s letter.</p><p>“Oh my god, Haz, what’s it say?!”</p><p>Even through the screen, Louis could see Harry’s cheeks flushed from excitement and nerves, eyes glazed over making him look slightly dazed. In the almost four months since they’d last seen each other, Harry had somehow matured even further. His face was all sharp angles, deep dimples, and big smiles. He looked really good.</p><p>“I- I don’t know.” He suddenly grew a bit sheepish, eyes darting away from the camera to where his fingers traced over the mailing address on the letter. “Was kinda waiting for you to come home to open it?”</p><p>Louis loved how Harry still called it home. It made him feel like he was just away from Harry temporarily, which he <em> was </em> because Harry most definitely was accepted and would soon be living with him, Louis just <em> knew </em>. </p><p>Well, he seriously hoped.</p><p>“Think you can wait two more days?”</p><p>Harry’s head snapped back up to the camera, face lit up already. He nodded eagerly, almost as if he was worried Louis would change his mind about going home.</p><p>“I’ll come down Friday afternoon, then we can open it together.”</p><p>If it was even possible, Harry seemed to brighten up more. “<em> Good </em>. I’ve fucking missed you, Lou.”</p><p>Louis’ heart squeezed painfully at Harry’s now sad expression. He hated seeing Harry sad. “Missed you too, Haz.”</p><p>They talked for another hour until Louis heard the slam of his front door, signaling that Ryan had managed to stumble home and was definitely not in a good mood. </p><p>“Tomlinson! Where the <em> fuck </em> is the remote?!”</p><p>Yeah. Not a good mood.</p><p>Reluctantly, he said his goodbyes to Harry and hung up, getting ready to go to sleep as fast as possible. A part of him wished he could just sleep through the next two days to speed up the time before he got to see Harry again. But alas, he still had classes.</p><p>As he turned off the light and crawled into bed, his phone buzzed with two new messages. They were from Harry.</p><p>The first was a string of heart emojis, followed by about two dozen x’s. </p><p>
  <em> haz: Oops, didn’t mean to send those! </em>
</p><p>Not even a minute later, his phone buzzed again.</p><p>
  <em> haz: I’m a liar, I totally meant to send those. </em>
</p><p>Louis giggled, going to turn off his phone when it buzzed one last time. The message was basically a box of multi-colored hearts, with- <em> “Sleep well, Lou. Love ya,” </em>typed in the middle. It was so stupidly endearing that Louis’ heart was bursting with it.</p><p>
  <em> lou: goodnight u fucking dork </em>
</p><p>~~~</p><p>“<em> Lou! </em>”</p><p>Louis was nearly knocked off his feet by the sheer force of Harry launching himself into his arms. When he regained his balance and got over his shock, he laughed, reaching up to wrap his arms around Harry’s neck. Harry picked Louis up and giggling, Louis wrapping his legs tight around Harry’s waist so as to not fall.</p><p>“Hey, Haz. Miss me?”</p><p>Still not letting go, Harry scoffed.</p><p>“Of course I missed you, Lou. I always miss you.”</p><p>Talk about an attack of the goddamn butterflies on Louis’ stomach.</p><p>When Harry finally put Louis back on the ground, they each took a moment to just take the other in. Harry looked to be about the same height, messy curls past his ears at his point. They framed his face in a way that made him look like a prince. His green eyes were as vibrant as ever, the biggest, most genuine smile on his pink lips. His dimples were popping and Louis wanted to lean forward and kiss them.</p><p>Fuck, he’d missed him a lot.</p><p>Upon entering the house, Anne was immediately at Louis’ side, pulling him into a hug almost as tight as Harry’s.</p><p>“Louis! Oh, dear, we’ve all missed you so much!”</p><p>Louis laughed, hugging the woman back. She wore the same perfume that she’d worn when he was a little kid and a wave of nostalgia hit him as it reached his nose. Anne had always been like his second mother and he’d always felt like the Styles’ house was as much his as it was Harry’s, and he was almost relieved to see that that obviously hadn’t changed.</p><p>“I’ve missed you guys too.”</p><p>Harry’s mum pulled away, holding Louis at arm's length. She gave him a once over before meeting his eyes, giving him a knowing look. “Well, no one missed you as much as Harry, of course.”</p><p>Louis giggled at Harry’s mortified face. “<em> Mum. </em>”</p><p>Scoffing, Anne turned to regard her son.</p><p>“Sweetie, I’ve heard you talk about Louis more than any other topics combined! I get to embarrass you for it now, it’s only fair.”</p><p>“And we’re done here.” Harry announced, grabbing a very smug Louis by the wrist and pulling him towards the stairs. “Bye, mum!”</p><p>Anne barely had any time to respond before Harry was practically sprinting up the stairs. They didn’t say another word until Harry’s bedroom door was closed, and then Harry immediately pulled him into another hug.</p><p>This one was gentler, but it felt more desperate. Louis wanted to hold on forever.</p><p>“Aw, Haz. You told your mum about me? I feel so special!”</p><p>“Shut it.”</p><p>Louis laughed, letting go of Harry and plopping down on his bed. His room looked the exact same from the last time he’d visited, all tidy and neat, except for a new white letter resting on his bedside table. Louis grew nervous when he saw it, suddenly realizing why he’d visited in the first place.</p><p>“When you planning on opening it?” Louis asked, gesturing towards the letter. Harry shrugged, joining him on the bed and regarding the letter with a guarded, untrusting expression as if it was a ticking time bomb.</p><p>“Don’t know. I’m scared shitless to be quite honest.”</p><p>“You’d be stupid not to be.”</p><p>“Gee, thanks.”</p><p>Louis laughed softly, shaking his head. “Doesn’t mean you didn’t get in. Come on Haz, we both know you had better grades and less detentions than I did, and <em> I </em>got in. You’ll be fine.”</p><p>It was true, Louis had ended up scoring higher in his English and drama classes, but Harry was a few points ahead of him in most other subjects. They were both clever and Louis had been accepted, so he had very few doubts about Harry’s chances.</p><p>And as for disciplinary issues, Louis had never been a <em> bad </em>kid, he’d just been a bit… mischievous. Harry was too, but he was just better at not getting caught, the sly git. For every detention Harry received, Louis got three. It didn’t hinder Louis’ chances of university though, so Harry would be fine.</p><p>“Maybe, but you were much more involved than I was. Footy, drama, that musical you were in-”</p><p>“Hey! I thought we made a pact to never speak of that again!” Louis exclaimed, holding his hand over his heart as if he’d been wounded.</p><p>“Oh, right! I completely forgot that we promised to never talk about you playing Danny Zuko in <em> Grease </em> and how when you kissed Deborah, she said it wa-”</p><p>Before Harry could finish, Louis tackled him down on the bed. Harry yelped, tumbling down ungracefully. Louis tickled his sides until tears were streaming down his face and he was shrieking louder than the twins had when they were babies.</p><p>“Ok! O-ok!” Harry shouted in between pained laughs, “I’m sorry!! I will never sp-spea- <em> Louis! </em>”</p><p>Harry tried to flip their positions but he was weakened from the tickle attack and could hardly even lift his head, so his body just did some weird flopping motion before slumping back down to the bed to be further attacked.</p><p>“You’re a bloody <em> traitor </em>, Harold! How could you?! I thought you were my Sandy!” Louis wailed, switching to tickle underneath Harry’s chin. He tried to bring his face down to hide his neck but Louis’ hand was already there and he was somehow shrieking even louder.</p><p>Louis showed no mercy when it came to tickling.</p><p>Once Louis’ hand started to cramp and Harry appeared to be in real danger of pissing himself, Louis finally stopped the tickle wars. Harry lay gasping on the bed, rubbing the tears out of his eyes.</p><p>“Never again?”</p><p>Harry nodded, huffing a tired laugh.</p><p>“Never again.”</p><p>~~~</p><p>Harry was too scared to open his letter then, so they decided to order takeout. While they waited for the food, Louis went over to his house to greet his family. He’d sort of forgotten to say hello, what with getting all distracted by Harry. They were all very excited to see him there, and not at all surprised that he’d come down for Harry.</p><p>“I think you like Harry more than your own family,” Lottie accused, arms crossed. She was obviously trying to look stern, but the playful glint in her eyes gave her away. Louis shrugged, playing along.</p><p>“What can I say, I’ve known him longer than you lot. He treats me better than you, Lots, it’s the simple truth. I only visit home for Harry, but I promise, it’s always <em> lovely </em> to see my dear little sister too!” </p><p>Scoffing, Lottie shoved Louis’ arm. “Get back to your dear husband if he treats you so well, Lewis. He’s waiting!”</p><p>Louis rolled his eyes, lightly shoving Lottie back. “He’s not my husband you little shit, but I <em> will </em> go. You’ll be lucky to see me again after that!</p><p>Lottie flashed him a cheeky smile paired with two thumbs up.</p><p>“Good, that was my plan all along!”</p><p>With one last middle finger thrown at his little sister, Louis walked out the front door and went back to Harry’s. As they waited on the food, Harry let all his nerves out in the form of some pretty intense, very long rambling.</p><p>“Like, I know I’ve got good grades, but grades aren’t everything! They look at sports and music and, oh god, <em> community service </em>. Have I ever even served the community before?! Fuck, there’s no way they’re gonna take me now! I’m gonna have to live in my parent’s basement for the rest of my life, far far away from you, and we’ll never get to see each other again, and-”</p><p>“Harry! Calm the fuck down!”</p><p>Harry stopped pacing, turning his wild eyes to Louis.</p><p>“Louis! This is my future, <em> our </em>future! How can I just be calm?!”</p><p>Louis hardly even had any time to process the <em> our future </em>part (holy shit??) because Harry sounded genuinely distressed. Normally, Louis would’ve teased him for overreacting, but he knew how scary this was. </p><p>“Haz, I promise, even if you don’t get in, we’ll be fine. Remember how before I graduated it all seemed like shit? Like everything would go wrong? But we made it work, didn’t we?” Louis gestured for Harry to sit across from him on the bed, holding both of his warm hands in his own colder ones. “This is the exact same thing. We’re going to be ok, no matter what.”</p><p>Harry searched his eyes briefly, looking for reassurance, and Louis sure as hell hoped he could see it. He tried to channel every positive thought he could into his face for Harry to see. Then, he let out a heavy, shaky sigh.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah. Of course. It’s- it’s gonna be fine.”</p><p>Louis smiled gently, unclasping one of their hands to reach out and tuck a curl behind Harry’s ear. Harry flinched slightly before leaning into the soft touch, cheeks dusted with a soft pink blush. Louis was pretty sure his own face was on fire.</p><p>Just then, the doorbell rang and the two went to pick up their takeout. The delicious smell of spicy kung pao chicken filled the house and Louis was reminded that he was <em> starving </em>.</p><p>As they ate, Harry told him all about school. About how Liam and Liz would be going to separate schools for the first time in their lives, about how Niall had managed to go an entire month without any detentions (before ultimately failing), about how weird lunch still was without Louis there...</p><p>It was silly, but hearing Harry talk about his other friends made Louis’ stomach feel funny. He obviously knew Harry had other friends, and hell, he <em> liked </em> his friends, but it was strange knowing that he spent more time with them than with him now. It had never been like that before, and he didn’t like it.</p><p>Hopefully, that would all be changing in a few short months.</p><p>When they both finished eating, a heavy silence hung over the room. It was like the letter gave off some sort of negative energy or something. Neither of them could look away from it, but neither of them seemed very keen on approaching it either.</p><p>“Do you wanna wait until the morning?”</p><p>“I think I’ll die if I wait any longer.”</p><p>“Then open it.”</p><p>“I can’t.”</p><p>Louis chuckled, reaching over to grab the letter and slowly place it in Harry’s hands. He was nervous too, but he was supposed to be the moral support here, so he hid it as best he could. </p><p>Their fingers brushed as the letter transferred between the two and Louis’ stomach jolted, just adding to the nerves he was feeling.</p><p>Harry stared at the letter in his hands as if it was legitimately about to explode and Louis couldn’t help but giggle at him. He knew he was scared but dragging it on would only make the anticipation worse.</p><p>“Haz. It’s not gonna hurt you.”</p><p>Pouting, Harry looked away from the letter and over at Louis.</p><p>“Feels like it will.”</p><p>They waited for what felt like an eternity until Louis began to grow impatient, reaching his arm out to violently shake Harry’s shoulder.</p><p>“Open the damn letter, Harold!” He exclaimed, laughter in his voice. With a final terrified,  pitiful look, Harry ripped the letter open.</p><p>His fingers were shaking terribly so Louis rested a reassuring hand on his thigh, rubbing tiny, soothing circles over the fabric of his shorts. He was pretty sure he heard Harry’s breath catch at that, but it was probably just from the letter.</p><p>Harry finally unfolded the white piece of paper, reading as fast as he possibly could through the words. Louis had no clue what it said, so he watched Harry’s facial expression carefully. <em> Please be good, please be good, please be good- </em></p><p>Slowly, <em> very </em> slowly, Harry’s eyes began to light up. He grinned, slamming the letter down on the bed and pouncing on Louis, knocking him onto his back. Louis laughed, delighted, squeezing Harry tight.</p><p>“So?”</p><p>Harry laughed loudly, almost maniacally. He sounded so relieved. </p><p>“What the fuck do you think, Lou?! I got in!!”</p><p>Louis laughed just as loud, pulling Harry flush against his body. It felt like an immense weight had been lifted off his own shoulders. He felt so light that he was pretty sure he could fly.</p><p> He could already imagine living with Harry. Cooking with him, watching telly with him, walking to lectures together, spending late nights at the libraries with only each other to keep themselves sane…</p><p>No more bigoted Ryan. No more boring days and lonely nights. No more four hour drives to see his favorite person. They’d be living together for the next few years, and Louis was buzzing with excitement.</p><p>They’d always wanted to live together, and it was<em> actually happening </em>! This was reality!</p><p>Harry pushed his face out of his chest, watery eyes making contact with Louis’. His long arms propped himself up on either side of Louis’ head and Louis was well aware of how intimate their position was.</p><p>Harry looked so jubilant, so fucking beautiful that Louis almost craned his neck up to kiss him. He was pretty sure he almost <em> did </em>, seeing as his eyes started to flutter close and his lips started to seek Harry’s out to their own accord, but a knock at the door interrupted him.</p><p>Leaping off Louis, Harry opened his bedroom door to find his parents grinning up at him on the other side. They must’ve heard all of the cheering and laughing.</p><p>“<em>Baby, </em> we’re so <em> proud </em> of you!” Anne gushed, tears in her own eyes as she embraced her son. Then, his step-dad must have cracked some stupid joke that Louis missed, Anne and Harry rolling their eyes but laughing nonetheless, and Louis couldn’t stop his huge grin as the three embraced one another. His heart was overflowing with pride.</p><p>Eventually, Anne turned to regard Louis.</p><p>“Oh my, you boys are growing up so fast!” She said, fully crying now. She gestured for Louis to join the three of them at Harry’s door and when he did, he was pulled into a big group hug. “You’ll finally get to live together too, like you’ve always wanted since you were little. How exciting!”</p><p><em> That </em> thought almost had Louis in tears.</p><p>When Harry’s parents left, Harry slowly looked at Louis. He looked in awe, like he didn’t quite believe it yet.</p><p>“Well, roomie, how you feeling?”</p><p>Pretending to think about the question, Harry brought his hand up to his face and stroked his chin. “Hmm, I think- I think I’m feeling pretty good?” He paused for a minute, dropping his hand and grinning wide, “Roomie.”</p><p>When Louis had to leave the next day, he was reminded that they still had a few more months apart. But those months seemed trivial compared to what they had ahead of them. A good ninety percent of Louis’ daydreams during the lectures he was supposed to be listening to involved scenarios they’d face as roommates, both the good and the bad.</p><p>Even in the bad ones, like the little arguments over who left the dishes in the sink or who’s turn it was to clean the bathroom that they’d ultimately have, they always found a way to work it out. He knew it would be like that in real life as well. They bickered sometimes, even got into actual arguments on rare occasions, but they’d always fixed it. </p><p>And how could they not? They were Louis&amp;Harry, the two inseparable peas in a pod, the missing pieces to each other puzzles and all that other cheesy shit. They were quite literally the ultimate dream team. </p><p>They were going to be alright.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I was planning on posting this much sooner BUT I haven't had power or service for the past five days due to cold weather (yay Texas!) so I was unable to post. I'm really sorry about the wait, but here's chapter three. I hope y'all enjoy! :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. University</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A character reappearance, Harry and Louis are two IDIOTS but we love them &lt;3</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CW // slight homophobia towards the end (mention of invalidating bisexuality, it's extremely brief)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Harry - 2011</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He was running through a field of cotton candy bushes and pixie stick grass and lollipop trees. Fluffy sheep made of clouds ran to his left, tiny kittens smaller than his palm on his right.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The air smelt of all things sweet, of peppermint and strawberries and cinnamon, everything so brightly colored that it hurt his eyes to look for too long. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He didn’t know where he was, but he felt safe. Something about this place was comforting. He never wanted to leave.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Suddenly, a boy was running in front of him. He appeared out of thin air, his outline shimmering softly as if he wasn’t actually there. Then again, was Harry actually there?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The new boy was a bit shorter, a bit less lanky. He definitely appeared to be in better control of his limbs, running rather gracefully. He could only see the back of his head, but he immediately knew who it was.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Lou!”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The boy didn’t turn back.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey, Lou! Wait up!”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The boy kept running.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Harry tried to run faster, but it was like Louis was matching his pace perfectly, always just a few dozen steps ahead.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>A sudden surge of panic rose in Harry’s chest. It didn’t feel safe anymore. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The sheep and kittens disappeared, the lollipops cracked and crumbled and the pixie sticks drooped, spilling all of their sugary sweet contents. Cotton candy dissolved and all the color in the world was slowly draining away, taking the lovely smells with it. Everything was dark and bitter and dreadful and Louis still wouldn’t look at him.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“What did I do?” Harry cried out desperately, legs aching with each step he took. “What’s wrong, Lou?!”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Louis didn’t answer, didn’t even spare him a glance.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He just ran, and ran, and ran.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He didn’t seem to be growing tired. He wasn’t out of breath in the slightest. Meanwhile, Harry felt like someone was stabbing his lungs with a knife.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Louis! What’s wr-”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Haz!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Body seizing, Harry nearly jumped clean out of his chair. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Eurgh!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was a loud </span>
  <em>
    <span>thud!</span>
  </em>
  <span> as he accidentally knocked the large textbook he’d previously been trying to read off the table. A chorus of irritated shushes were directed his way, but his brain was too murky to feel sorry or embarrassed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Bloody hell, Haz. Have you been asleep this whole time?” Louis asked incredulously, regarding Harry as if he’d just remembered that he was even there. Still disoriented, Harry checked the time on his phone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shit. I was asleep for an entire hour?!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ve only been here for one and a half!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Groaning, Harry leaned over slowly to pick up his textbook. He was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis put his earbuds back in and returned to the recorded lecture he had been watching on his laptop, dutifully taking down notes as he listened. His handwriting was messy as ever, but at least he was</span>
  <em>
    <span> doing</span>
  </em>
  <span> his work. Harry apparently couldn’t even sit down to read a single chapter without falling asleep.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The library would be opened for another hour, so he decided to try and at least read half of the chapter. It was for his psychology course, and it was quite interesting. They were discussing some of the most famous examples of psychology experiments that sorely lacked morals, such as the Stanford Prison Experiment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“In 1971, psychology professor Philip G. Zimbardo conducted one of the most infamous amoral experiments that psychology students everywhere study to this day.  The purpose of the Stanford Prison experiment was to investigate the psychological effects of perceived power with a collection of his college students. Some of the students were assigned the role of prisoner, and the other’s were the prison officers. It quickly got out of hand when the prison officers abused their power over their peers who were playing as the prisoners, and it was put to an end after barely even a week…”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It apparently didn’t matter how interesting Harry found it though, because he simply couldn’t stay awake long enough to read. The words looked all jumbled on the page, leaving him too frustrated to even try.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With a loud groan that earned him more shushes from other students, Harry closed the book and slumped far down in his chair, throwing his head back. He pinched the bridge of his nose, not missing how dramatic he probably looked to everyone else.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright?” Louis asked, pausing his lecture to address a very distressed Harry. He patted Harry’s knee comfortingly, shooting him a sympathetic smile. It never ceased to amaze Harry to see how well Louis handled all this stupid course work. He hardly even seemed stressed, even if Harry knew he secretly was. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I give up,” Harry whined, “I’m dropping out. Too much. I’m gonna become a male escort, grow old, get rich, then live on my own private island for the rest of my days. Fuck school.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis laughed, moving his hand to Harry’s shoulder. Harry hardly even noticed the tingle the slight touch sent through his system, having grown all too familiar to it. Ok, well. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>obviously </span>
  </em>
  <span>still felt it. How could he not? How could he not feel it when </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span> Louis did affected him like that?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sounds like you’ve got it all worked out then, won’t be needing me, eh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry pouted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Course I’ll need you, stupid. Can’t live on my private island without </span>
  <em>
    <span>someone</span>
  </em>
  <span> there to entertain me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis scoffed, pretending to be offended. “You insult me, Harold! Is that all I am to you? Just some pathetic entertainment?!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Pretending to consider his words, Harry rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Hmm… yes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If they were back home, Louis certainly would’ve tackled Harry, probably tickled him half to death. But as they were in the library, he had to be a bit more discreet. He settled for a hard punch to the arm, grinning wider when Harry yelped quietly and rubbed the reddening skin.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wanker,” Harry hissed, punching him back just as hard.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Some of the more exhausted students around them had started to send them dirty glares, and Harry knew he wouldn’t be able to read anymore for the night, so they decided to call it a night. They stopped by the campus cafe near the library briefly to grab a bite before sleepily trudging home.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please tell me you don’t have a lecture before noon tomorrow,” Harry whined as Louis unlocked their front door.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nope, first ones not even until two.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Good.</span>
  </em>
  <span> I need at </span>
  <em>
    <span>least</span>
  </em>
  <span> twelve hours of sleep…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Too tired to even bother going to his room, Harry threw himself down on the couch. One of the loose springs poked him in the back and he shifted uncomfortably, trying to get off it. They had such shit furniture. Louis picked up Harry’s legs, sitting down next to him and dropping his long legs in his own lap.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You finish that essay for Julius Caesar yet?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Shit.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>How could he have forgotten about that?! They’d been given almost two weeks to do it and he’d barely even gotten past his outline. Louis, being a whiz at both English </span>
  <em>
    <span>and </span>
  </em>
  <span>drama, had probably finished the day it had been assigned. God he was so fucked…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can help you with it tomorrow, before my first lecture.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Removing his hands from his face, Harry peeked over at Louis.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Really?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis grinned, eyes twinkling as he looked down at Harry. Harry’s traitorous heart fluttered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“‘Course, can’t have you failing out on your first year.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kinda wish I did, to be honest,” Harry started pitifully, “This is exhausting.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis snorted, tapping his long fingers on Harry’s bony ankle. It was endearing and it made Harry’s stomach do that funny fluttering thing that was so familiar to him whenever Louis was near.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, it is. But at least we’re suffering together.” Louis pointed out, smiling cheekily. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry huffed a half laugh, half sigh. They really were suffering. Neither of them ever seemed to get enough sleep, they both had their own subjects that they struggled with, they spent more time in the library than their own apartment, and the time that </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>spent in their apartment was always used up by studying.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not to mention that the only thing they ate was old takeout leftovers and instant noodles, and neither of them ever had the time nor energy to do laundry, and they both had to work part time and still hardly even made enough to survive...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was a vicious cycle of waking up, going to lectures, doing homework, and going to work. Every day, all day. The joys of university…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I want to do something. Something fun.” Harry said, sitting up with a heavy sigh and scooting closer to Louis. He dropped his head onto his shoulder, already half asleep.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis sighed dramatically, running his fingers through Harry’s long curls. “Oh, Harold. If only I could remember what fun was…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry snorted tiredly, leaning further into Louis’ touch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Seriously though. We should do something soon.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, there’s that waterpark a few blocks over-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you mean that kiddy pool and slide at the YMCA?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“....”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Frustrated, Harry lifted his head with a huff. He turned to face Louis with the saddest puppy eyes he could muster.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Lou, </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I’m gonna lose my fucking mind if I don’t do something fun soon.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright, alright, calm down!” Louis exclaimed, holding his hands up in defense. “We’ll figure out something.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Satisfied for the time being, Harry smiled and returned to his previous position, snuggling up close to Louis. Louis chuckled quietly, wrapping his arm around Harry and holding him tight. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry was drifting off to sleep again when Louis said, “Want me to carry you to bed, then?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sleepily, Harry mumbled, “Yours.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis was quiet for a moment before he inhaled shakily, standing up and grabbing Harry’s hand. He helped him up and pulled him into his bedroom, shutting the door behind them. They silently got dressed and crawled under the sheets. Harry felt like a zombie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good night, Haz.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry smiled, facing away from Louis so he could spoon (or rather, jetpack) him. When Louis’ warm body enveloped his own, pulling him flush to his chest, Harry’s smile widened.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Night, Lou.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>~~~</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They were sat next to each other on the couch, studying as usual. Everything was normal. Louis was tapping his pen insistently against his journal, foot bouncing so violently that the entire sofa shook. His tongue poked out in concentration, face scrunching adorably when there was something he didn’t understand. Harry anxiously twisted his bracelet around his wrist, sometimes pushing it down hard to dig painfully into his skin so he could fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>focus</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It wasn’t working though. Harry felt like he was losing his mind. He was falling behind in his classes, he was hardly getting any sleep, he was pretty sure he hadn’t called his parents or Gemma in almost a month… and it was all because of Louis fucking Tomlinson.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before university, it had sucked having a crush on his best friend. Of course it had, his feelings seemed to change </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He couldn’t go to a single class without wondering how it would be different if Louis was there. He would always choose to spend his weekends doing absolutely nothing at Louis’ house instead of doing homework like he was supposed to if it meant that he got to be near Louis. His brain had always been a constant chant of </span>
  <em>
    <span>Louis, Louis, Louis. </span>
  </em>
  <span>And now that they were living together…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>To put it briefly, not one aspect of Harry’s life didn’t involve Louis in some way and it was really fucking painful.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For the past two months, he’d been debating whether or not he should just spit it out. It would be a huge relief. Maybe he would even start to pass his classes. He supposed that was rather important.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But there were always the </span>
  <em>
    <span>what ifs </span>
  </em>
  <span>that played in his head</span>
  <em>
    <span>. </span>
  </em>
  <span>What if he was disgusted? What if he doesn’t want to live with me anymore? What if he never wants to speak to me again? What if I ruin </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span>??</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once, he’d tried to make a pros and cons list to help him decide, but he’d gotten distracted when Louis climbed onto the bed beside him and insisted he let him braid his hair. He was always getting distracted by Louis.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But maybe it was the right thing to do. Logically, he knew Louis wouldn’t hate him for it. He wasn’t homophobic or anything, and they’d been friends for nearly two decades. Surely, a little crush couldn’t ruin what they had? Maybe things would be awkward for a bit, and Harry would be left heartbroken, and their friendship might never be the same again- but he just couldn’t keep it in any longer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He couldn’t.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Breathing in shakily, Harry set down his pen and turned to face Louis, made mind up. “Um… Lou?”</span>
</p>
<p><span>The meek quietness of his own voice shocked him. </span><em><span>Suck it up!</span></em> <em><span>You’re bloody doing this!! </span></em><span>Clearing his throat, he repeated his name. Louis’ head snapped up from his work and he smiled questioningly at Harry. “Hmm?”</span></p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Here goes nothing.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh, look, there’s something I need to tell y-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A soft knock at their door interrupted him. Harry fell silent, heart beating at twice its usual speed. </span>
  <em>
    <span>God this was terrifying.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Maybe the knock had been a sign from the gods above for him to keep his mouth shut.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There were two more knocks, but Harry felt frozen to the spot. Louis was still staring at him expectantly, until he snapped out of it and stood up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll get that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis left the room, allowing Harry a moment alone with his thoughts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Suddenly, he felt very stupid for what he had almost said. What was he </span>
  <em>
    <span>thinking?!</span>
  </em>
  <span> Louis didn’t like him! There would be next to no benefits from telling him! It would just make everything between them fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>weird!!</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So what if Harry was slowly dying on the inside? So what if he wanted to murder every single person who so much as did a double take when Louis walked by? So what if he could only get a good night's sleep if he was cuddled up with Louis? So what if he literally could not do anything to move on from him&gt; So fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span> if he was desperately and irrevocably in love with his best friend?!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>None of that was Louis’ problem, it was Harry’s, It would be unfair to dump all of that shit on him and expect him to do something with it; expect him to either accept it and reciprocate or ignore it and move on. He couldn’t do that to Louis, could he?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Well, that settled it then. Back to suffering in silence. He’d been doing it for years, he could manage a bit longer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Harry!” Louis exclaimed excitedly, walking into the living room with a tall man in tow, “Look who it is!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis stepped aside, allowing Harry to finally see who’d (thankfully) interrupted Harry’s love confession and- </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No. Fucking. Way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Zayn?!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Awkwardly, Zayn raised his hand and gave Harry a tiny wave. Harry couldn’t believe it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The boy hadn’t changed all that much since school, although he’d somehow managed to get even more attractive. Harry swore he wasn’t human.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His chiseled jawline was even more defined than before, his lashes so long that Harry was almost certain that they were in fact extensions. Even from where he sat, Harry could make out his shining, green-gold eyes and dark, plump lips. He had an air of superiority that hung around him, despite his somewhat awkward movements and behaviors. He seemed so sure of himself, so confident in who he was, that it made Harry want to feel the same about himself. No wonder he’d been Harry’s first crush.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then again, Zayn was a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot </span>
  </em>
  <span>of people’s first crush. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you know he went to school here?” Louis asked, clearly thrilled. Harry shook his head, mouth suddenly going dry.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not at all.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The three looked at each other in silence for a few moments, clearly having no clue what to do next. Zayn looked terribly out of his element, hands stuffed in his hoodie pocket, eyes flitting about aimlessly. Louis was gawking up at Zayn as if he was some long lost lover who’d just returned home from war and Harry was left feeling terribly jealous.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finally, Louis broke the silence and gestured for Zayn to join them on the sofa. Before Zayn could, Louis bent over and quickly whisked Harry’s homework off the sofa, clearing a space for Zayn to sit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Like he’s a bloody king or something…</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well? How’ve you been?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zayn shrugged, “Same as you lot, I suppose.” He paused for a moment before realizing Louis had been expecting more. “School, work. Er- I design sets and costumes for musicals and stuff, so that’s, um, cool... uh- you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis eagerly leapt into a long, animated story about what they’d been up to for the past few years. He talked about their majors and their classes and their jobs and even their late night study sessions and their awkward run-ins with campus police a few times and every single aspect of their lives…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry had never realized how close Louis and Zayn were. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Zayn and Louis got into a heated discussion about something football related, Harry completely zoned out. For all he knew, he was all alone in the living room, Zayn and Louis disappearing entirely.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He couldn’t stop the red hot jealousy brewing in the pit of his stomach, couldn’t help but wonder if there had ever been something between the two of them. It sounded silly but in his distracted, upset state, it seemed a perfectly logical explanation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He knew Zayn was bi, everyone knew that, and with the way Louis’ eyes got all lovey dovey whenever Zayn paid him any amount of attention, it wasn’t a far fetched idea at all. Once Louis had gotten over his little girl obsessed phase when they’d been younger, neither of them had ever really discussed relationships.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis had had a few girlfriends here and there, but Harry hardly ever saw him with any of them. None of those relationships had ever lasted for longer than a month. Maybe it was because Louis had been in love with Zayn the whole time…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right well, just wanted to stop by and say hello,” Zayn said, “My roommate mentioned you two so… anyways it was good to see you guys!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He seemed much more at ease than when he’d first walked inside, which made Harry wonder what exactly they’d been talking about. Had they been discussing some sweet moment from their secret relationship while Harry was zoned out? Had they been making fun of Harry? Had they been-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Haz!</span>
  </em>
  <span> Hello?!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh!” Harry exclaimed in shock, jerking back to attention, “Sorry! Um, good seeing you, Zayn!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A tiny, smug smirk spread across Zayn’s face. He stood up and stretched casually, but his eyes didn’t leave Harry’s for a second. Which was- strange.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Louis offered to walk him out (yeah, Harry was positive, they </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely </span>
  </em>
  <span>fucked), Zayn declined. Instead, he said, “Actually, Harry, would you show me out? There’s something I want to… tell you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Confused, Harry raised an eyebrow at Zayn. He didn’t miss the disappointed look on Louis’ face, which made his own heart drop even further. Fuck.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Um, I guess?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry followed Zayn out into the hallway, closing the door behind them. Zayn stuffed his hands back in his pockets, but he didn’t look nervous anymore. He looked very very smug, like he knew something Harry didn’t. Harry hated that look. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, Harry, I just wanted to let you know that Louis and I are </span>
  <em>
    <span>friends,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Zayn started, putting a strong emphasis on ‘friends’, “and I am very happy with my </span>
  <em>
    <span>boyfriend</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry was completely lost now. “Er, congrats-?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” Zayn laughed shortly, shaking his head, “you don’t get what I’m trying to say?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Was I supposed to get something out of that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zayn fully laughed now. His pretty eyes had tiny laugh lines around them and his tongue poked out from between his teeth. Harry realized that he’d never really seen Zayn laugh all that much. He secretly thought that he should laugh more. The man looked truly beautiful when he was happy. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> dense?!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey!” Harry exclaimed, offended, all pleasant thoughts of Zayn flying straight out of the window. Zayn might’ve been the most attractive man to grace the earth, and also really fucking talented at everything, and god he was so smart, but who the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span> did he think he was?!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry! Sorry, it’s just… you really don’t see it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry huffed in frustration. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>hated when people knew more than he did and refused to upright </span>
  <em>
    <span>tell</span>
  </em>
  <span> him what they knew. Why couldn’t they just say it?! “See </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zayn sobered up, huge grin leaving his face. He looked thoughtful, almost as if he wasn’t sure if he should say something or not. “Fine, I’ll put it in simpler terms. I don’t like Louis. As in, </span>
  <em>
    <span>like</span>
  </em>
  <span> like. Yeah?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wha- what?” Harry spluttered, cheeks heating up drastically, “Why would you even say that? Why would you think you have to- to </span>
  <em>
    <span>tell</span>
  </em>
  <span> me that? Obviously you don’t like him. I mean, even if you did, it’s cool! It’s not my business or anything, like, I’m not in charge of Louis, even if he’s my best friend. Or you for that matter! You can like whoever you want, if you want to, I’m not-! I don’t-! I-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zayn looked even more smug and Harry felt like he was going to be sick. He closed his mouth and squeezed his lips tight together. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You’re mouth is so fucking big sometimes.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Harry, please. I see the way you look at him, how you’ve </span>
  <em>
    <span>always</span>
  </em>
  <span> looked at him. Maybe he’s stupid, but I’m not.” Zayn said in a very knowing, gentle voice. “I know how you… feel about him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They both went silent for a moment, Harry trying to process this. Zayn… knew. He knew that Harry liked boys, that Harry liked </span>
  <em>
    <span>Louis. </span>
  </em>
  <span>This boy he hardly even knew, </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zayn shrugged, “I mean, it </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>kind of obvious-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fuck off,” Harry snorted, a bit of the tension leaving his body. He still wasn’t entirely sure how to feel about it. He’d said it like he’d known for a while, and he obviously hadn’t told Louis yet so…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is it- am I really that obvious?” Harry asked, suddenly feeling a bit insecure. And nervous. If Zayn had figured him out that easily, who’s to say other people hadn’t? Maybe Liam and Niall had known for ages and just hadn’t ever said anything. And oh fuck, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Gemma</span>
  </em>
  <span> probably knew too! After all the constant teasing about him and Louis, she would be so bloody smug about it...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t think so. The two of you were always super close, I think everyone just got used to it after a while. Probably just assumed that was you being friendly with him. Takes one to know one, I guess.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry found himself laughing harder at the stupid joke than he probably should’ve. Woah, he was joking about being </span>
  <em>
    <span>gay</span>
  </em>
  <span> with someone! He’d never been able to do </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>before!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He realized how much of a </span>
  <em>
    <span>relief</span>
  </em>
  <span> it was to have someone else know. Not just about the Louis thing, but about him liking boys in general. Not a single person knew he was gay. He’d been in the closet for ages, never able to truly be who he was or express himself how he pleased. So to be out and </span>
  <em>
    <span>joking</span>
  </em>
  <span> with someone about it… he felt like he was Atlas and the sky had just been lifted off his shoulders.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This might sound weird but- I’m glad you know,” Harry started, bashfully looking down at his feet, “no one’s ever known before, about me being… y’know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zayn smiled softly, “Yeah, I know how good it feels to be out, even if it’s only to one person. I remember I originally planned to only come out to my sister, but it felt so freeing that I practically screamed it to the entire world the next day.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry giggled, vividly remembering the day Zayn had come out. He was much younger than the boy, but the whole town had been talking about it. News traveled fast in small towns.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> Obviously, there had been a lot of people with some pretty negative things to say about it. He was too young to know, his parent’s must’ve messed up </span>
  <em>
    <span>somewhere</span>
  </em>
  <span>, being bisexual was just the new trend for kids, he was only saying it for attention…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Harry remembered being in awe of how </span>
  <em>
    <span>brave</span>
  </em>
  <span> Zayn was. Zayn was the first openly queer person Harry had known, and he couldn’t help but idoloize him. He was openly and unabashedly himself, no matter what anyone had to say about it. Harry hadn’t really realized just how much he’d looked up to Zayn until just now. He supposed he couldn’t exactly blame Louis for doing the same.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Louis.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shit! I sorta just left Louis in there,” Harry remembered, suddenly growing nervous at the thought of the older boy. He felt as if Louis would just </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> what they had been talking about. Despite what he’d thought earlier, he wasn’t ready for Louis to know. Not now. Zayn sensed this and reassuringly patted him on the back. It was comforting.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Get back to him, lover boy,” Zayn teased, playfully pinching Harry’s cheek, “it’ll be fine. Don’t worry so much.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sending one last thankful smile to the older boy, Harry nodded. He took a shaky breath and gripped the door handle tightly. “Thanks, Zayn. It means a lot. Really,” before turning around to face Louis.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Louis - 2011</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When Harry walked back through the front door, Louis had never seen him look so peaceful. A relaxed smile graced his lips and he looked more at ease than he had in a few months. Something unpleasant stirred in Louis’ chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What did Zayn want?” Louis asked, feigning nonchalance. He hoped Harry was falling for it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry shrugged, “I still don’t know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Well that was vague.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry joined Louis on the couch again, that secret little smile returning to his face. Something about it made Louis feel really weird…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry went back to his work, seemingly unfazed by Louis’ insistent staring in his direction. Something about Harry seemed almost </span>
  <em>
    <span>different</span>
  </em>
  <span> now, he’d never seemed so dreamy, almost as if-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oh </span>
  <em>
    <span>god. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Harry liked Zayn!</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm so sorry that these updates are rather slow, and also that this one is shorter than the others. I'm extremely busy with school and homework and extracurricular activities, but I'm trying my best! As always, hope y'all enjoy :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. University Continued</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Angsty feelings and self hatred :/<br/>Resolves at the end of course :)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This ones extremely short SORRY</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Harry - 2011</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Things got really weird after Zayn visited that first time. Louis started to act… strange. He bristled every time Zayn was brought up in conversation, he didn’t crack jokes anymore, he seemed to start wanting to study alone in the library more and more...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis was avoiding him and Harry had no idea why.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t know what he’d done, he certainly didn’t know what the fuck had happened between him and Zayn, but it sucked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry </span>
  <em>
    <span>hated</span>
  </em>
  <span> when him and Louis were fighting, but this wasn’t even fighting! This was just… fucking weird.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>How is it possible to feel so distant from a person who you live with and see every single day?</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Louis - 2011</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t being a dick on purpose.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Truly, he didn’t mean to be so cruel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could tell that Harry was unhappy with his sudden change in attitude. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he was happy with Zayn. It was so painfully obvious that Zayn made him happy. Harry used to look at </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span> like that, but now he only looked sad when he looked at Louis. Zayn made Harry happy. Who was Louis to deny Harry of that happiness?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But, fuck. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck!</span>
  </em>
  <span> Of all the seven billion bloody people in the world, why did Louis have to fall for his best friend?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was so hard for him to watch the person he loved fall in love with someone else.</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Harry - 2011</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once, when he couldn’t take the awkward atmosphere and the tense shoulders and the nervous glances anymore, Harry told Louis that he would be staying with Zayn for a few nights. He started staying at Zayn’s a lot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis’ shoulders had drooped and for the first time, Harry took notice of how </span>
  <em>
    <span>tired</span>
  </em>
  <span> Louis looked. His once bright eyes that had been so full of life looked sad. He looked </span>
  <em>
    <span>so sad</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry couldn’t possibly have left the apartment any faster.</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Louis - 2011</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Harry - 2012</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The new year brought new problems. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis had gone from resigned and tired to angry and bitter. Harry had learned that mentioning any person, male or female, </span>
  <em>
    <span>especially</span>
  </em>
  <span> Zayn Malik, was a one way ticket to “You-Fucked-Up-Ville.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was better than before though. At least yelling got them somewhere. At least they were sort of kind of </span>
  <em>
    <span>talking</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Louis - 2012</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zayn clearly noticed that something was seriously wrong between Louis and Harry. In fact, it seemed </span>
  <em>
    <span>everyone</span>
  </em>
  <span> knew that something was off. They appeared to be the subject of quite a lot of campus gossip. After weeks of silently observing, Zayn finally mentioned it to Louis.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They talked. It had involved lots of screaming. Louis was so angry these days.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not at Harry, not even at Zayn. He was angry with </span>
  <em>
    <span>himself</span>
  </em>
  <span> for being so fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>stupid</span>
  </em>
  <span> and falling madly, irrevocably in love with his best friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zayn knew that Louis was jealous. He knew that he was in love with Harry. Zayn repeatedly insisted that there was nothing going on between them. In fact, for the longest time, Harry had thought the same about Zayn and Louis.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, Louis listened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The screams died fast in his throat. Zayn explained. Louis felt like crawling into a hole and never leaving again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Without another word, Zayn stalked out of the apartment, leaving Louis alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alone and feeling more miserable than before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Harry - 2012</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Louis was sad again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry hated seeing Louis sad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He preferred the yelling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Louis - 2012</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Louis hated himself. He hated how childish and immature he’d been. He hated how instead of communicating with Harry, with his best fucking friend, he jumped to conclusions. He hated that he’d taken it all out on Harry when he did </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing</span>
  </em>
  <span> to deserve it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even if Harry </span>
  <em>
    <span>did </span>
  </em>
  <span>like Zayn, what kind of best friend would react like that? What kind of friend was Louis if he couldn’t put aside his own feelings and just be </span>
  <em>
    <span>happy</span>
  </em>
  <span> for Harry? He was no friend at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hated himself so fucking much.</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Harry - 2012</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sit down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taken aback, Louis stared slightly wide eyed at Harry. Jabbing his finger at the sofa behind him, Harry repeated himself. “Sit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis sat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re talking about this now and there’s nothing you can do to get out of it, alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans, Harry took a shaky breath. Never one for confrontation, Harry was honestly scared shitless. But this </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be done. He knew he had to do this. He had the creeping, horrible suspicion that he was close to losing his best friend for good and that was scarier than any amount of confrontation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t talk until I’m done either.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis nodded again, face close to emotionless. He looked like that a lot lately, all empty and hollow. It was hard to believe that this was the Louis Tomlinson Harry had grown up with, the Louis Tomlinson he’d fallen in love with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But then again, he must not have seemed like the same Harry Styles that he’d once been. That Harry Styles would’ve </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> let things get so bad. He never would’ve run from it all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What had happened to them?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right… Lou, I don’t know what I did. I don’t know if I said the wrong thing, or if I did something wrong, or if we’re just growing apart like some people do but-,” Harry gulped loudly, that familiar pit of despair stirring deep in his belly at the thought of him and Louis growing apart, “but I can’t take this anymore. I can’t just keep tip-toeing around you without knowing </span>
  <em>
    <span>why.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His words suddenly grew desperate, heart beating hard and fast against his chest, eyes pricking with tears. His voice sounded broken even to his own ears.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Why do you hate me?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Before he could process what was happening, Louis launched himself at Harry. He wrapped his arms tight around Harry’s neck and pulled him close, sobbing into his shoulder. Stunned, Harry didn’t react. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then came the blubbering. The words seemed to rip themselves out of Louis’ chest, countless apologizes and not one excuse. His words were miserable and full of self-loathing and Harry couldn’t help but wonder </span>
  <em>
    <span>what happened to them?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I- I want to tell you why bu-but I… I can’t!” Louis managed to get out in between sobs, voice muffled from having his face still buried in Harry’s neck. Harry held him tight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I promise, I will one day. Y-you deserve to know. You deserve more than- more than </span>
  <em>
    <span>me!</span>
  </em>
  <span> You’re too good for me... I- fuck I’m a horrible person.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laughing wetly, Harry shook his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, you fucking suck Tomlinson. And I know I should be pissed but… but I’m not.” This revelation surprised Harry. He truly, honestly wasn’t mad. He wanted to be, but he couldn’t find it in himself. Not after hearing Louis break like that, not when he wasn’t entirely guilt free himself. Anyways, anger was clearly getting them nowhere. He was sick of this fighting, this avoidance. “I’m just- confused. And, yes, maybe a little annoyed, but not angry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis pulled back, nose runny and eyes wild and red. He looked slightly mad. Harry’s shoulder was completely soaked with tears and without Louis’ warmth there, the cool air made him shiver.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You </span>
  <em>
    <span>should</span>
  </em>
  <span> be mad though! I- I was horrible to you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry shrugged, reaching his thumb out to wipe a tear off Louis’ cheek. A tiny smile graced his lips. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He could touch Louis again</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t the best either. I don’t think me running off to a friend’s house every other night to escape… whatever the fuck was going on helped us any. We- we should’ve talked. I should’ve talked to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re dumbasses.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry laughed, wiping yet another tear off Louis’ cheek. There seemed to be an endless reservoir of tears in Louis’ eyes, a never ending waterfall flowing down his rosy cheeks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, we are. But we’ll figure it out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry surprised himself with how determined he sounded. After everything that they’d just been through, all the shit Louis had put him through, all the running from their problems Harry had done, he was still sure as ever that everything would be ok in the end.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’d always figure it out. They were the motherfucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>dream team</span>
  </em>
  <span> for fucks sake. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sososososo sorry for how long this update took. I've been so busy with school. Last week was probably the worst week of my life,,, I mean it was so bad that I took a twitter break for good and I NEVER take twitter breaks... definitely think leaving stan twitter was one of my best decisions ever though. It's been two years and fuck I'm so over it HAHAHA. But I'm doing better now! Even though I'm not all that great at it, writing some angsty shit actually made me feel even better tbh. Writing is a good ass outlet!<br/>Anyways enough about meeee, I hope y'all enjoy! I think there will be one more chapter after this one and maybe a little epilogue? There's been something I've been hinting at a lot and I can't just leave it hanging out there like that :)<br/>OK BYE LOVES HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY/NIGHT :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. The End</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sick Harry, mother Louis, candy wars, a revelation, constellations, and music in the park :)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The version of "La Vie En Rose" that is used is by Emily Watts, it's very beautiful and you should listen to it while you read that part! </p><p>https://open.spotify.com/track/7hfEuxdObtxEdcOpQsXE49?si=kjT7_-zZSxueueDXqrFGgA<br/>Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Louis - 2013</span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>When Louis got home, Harry was somehow already there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Didn’t go to class. I think I’m getting sick,” Harry explained, the mess of tissues scattered around him proving it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aw, poor Haz,” Louis pouted slightly jokingly, walking over to the sofa and squeezing Harry’s cheeks, “do you want me to make you my world famous soup? It’ll make you feel better!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry scoffed, “I think your soup would make me even </span>
  <em>
    <span>more</span>
  </em>
  <span> sick.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ghastly!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Setting down his bookbag, Louis swiped the tissues off the sofa and sat next to the sick boy. He felt his forehead, and yep, “Harry’s got a bit of a temperature.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry swatted Louis’ hand away, disgruntled. He always got so damn grumpy when he was sick!</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They decided to order take-out, like usual, but Harry didn’t eat much. He started to nod off so Louis scooped him up in his arms and carried him to bed. Before Harry could protest, Louis climbed in with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll get you sick!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis shrugged, pulling the sheets over the two of them. “Your germs are already all over the apartment. No escaping them now!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Too tired to retort, Harry grumbled and faced away from Louis, falling asleep before Louis could even say good night. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Grumpy bastard,” Louis muttered fondly, scooting over to Harry and cuddling him from behind. Apparently, Harry wasn’t grumpy in his sleep, because he immediately leaned into Louis’ touch, making a soft sound of content. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It looked like Louis would be taking care of a sick Harry for the next few days.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>~~~</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Harry was </span>
  <em>
    <span>impossible</span>
  </em>
  <span> when he was sick. He groaned and moaned and grumbled over everything, always quick to apologize immediately after, but still! Louis was trying to be helpful here!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Haz, you gotta eat </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I already told you what I want!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, something </span>
  <em>
    <span>real.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>real!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t live off Sour Patch Kids and blue ICEES forever!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Watch me!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sugar definitely did nothing to cure Harry, but it made him happy, so Louis gave in every single time. Their apartment was beginning to smell like a confectionary shop and Harry’s tongue was permanently stained blue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Louis was in class, Harry took naps all day. He got most of his school work done online in the middle of the night because he was sleeping so much during the day, that he was never actually tired when it was time to sleep. Nocturnal </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> high on sugar… Harry was utterly unhinged and Louis wasn’t doing anything to stop him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There were some nice elements that came with Harry being sick though, such as them practically being forced to spend all of their free time together. With the horrid year they’d just gone through, Louis was positive that this was just what they needed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh right, it sucked that Harry was sick though… poor Haz…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you die from too much sugar?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry shrugged, slurping his ICEE loudly. Louis wrinkled his nose. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>hated</span>
  </em>
  <span> the blue flavored drink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t know, don’t care. It tastes good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To show how much he didn’t care, he popped a half dozen Sour Patch Kids in his mouth and made unwavering eye contact with Louis as he chewed. Louis reached in the bag and tossed a handful of them at his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis giggled, reaching over and grabbing a green one that landed on his shoulder, throwing it up in the air and catching it in his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can take all of the green ones,” Harry said, handing the large back to Louis, “they’re gross.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Offended, Louis roughly snatched the bag out of Harry’s hand. “You </span>
  <em>
    <span>imbecile!</span>
  </em>
  <span> The greens are the best!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nope, the blues are.” Harry retorted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe your cold altered your taste buds.” Louis suggested, dropping a green candy in Harry’s hand. “Try it!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Very hesitantly, Harry raised his hand to his mouth. He let the candy fall in his mouth, face immediately screwing up in disgust. He spat the candy out, right in Louis’ face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Ew!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Louis exclaimed, shooting up from the sofa and scrubbing the spit off his cheek. Harry burst into a fit of giggles, clutching his stomach and rolling around on the sofa.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry! I told you I don’t like the green ones!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis dug his hand in the bag, pulled out a blue one, and spit it back at Harry. Harry shrieked, throwing a dozen candies at Louis. A full blown war broke out between the pair, a rainbow of candies being thrown across their apartment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A yellow one nailed Louis in the eye, a red one got lost in Harry’s messy curls, and at least twenty got lost somewhere under the table. They’d be finding candies for </span>
  <em>
    <span>weeks</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry broke into a coughing fit, reminding them both that he was still sick. Growing sympathetic, Louis lowered his hand of candies and led him back to the sofa.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright sicko, I think that’s enough for now. Get some rest.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry pouted, “But I wanna stay awake with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis’ heart fluttered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How about we </span>
  <em>
    <span>both</span>
  </em>
  <span> take a nap? You kept me up all night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry’s cheeks flushed a dark red.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That sounds really wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hu-? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Now Louis was blushing too, “No! Not like that! I meant with you making all that noise- by typing! By doing your homewo- oh you dick!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry had dissolved into another fit of giggles, watching Louis make a fool out of himself as he tried to explain what he’d meant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re too easy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis flicked Harry in the bird before shoving him down into a lying position. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Sleep</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aye aye captain!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis was out almost as fast as Harry.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Harry - 2013</span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry was sick for a </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>long time. Like, longer than most colds should last. Worried, Louis had made him go to the doctor. The doctor had said that Harry had the flu, and a pretty bad case of it too. Nothing detrimental, but it was no common cold either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With the new diagnosis, Louis turned into Harry’s mother. He was constantly fretting over him, asking if he was too hot or too cold. He skipped multiple classes because he didn’t want to leave Harry alone. He even started cooking for Harry, learning new recipes that wouldn’t upset Harry’s messed up stomach. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>No matter how much Harry insisted that he wasn’t dying, that he’d be ok, Louis never budged. He was a stubborn bastard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And really fucking adorable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With every worried look, every brush of his fingers on his forehead, every meal he prepared, Harry fell harder in love with his best friend. He was just so… </span>
  <em>
    <span>amazing.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was perfect.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you need anything from the store?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry filed through his brain, “Oh, we need more tissues.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Already on the list.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok. How about bananas?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Got it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um… toothpaste?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s some extra in the back of the bathroom drawer.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right. Mouthwash? Bread? Cranberry juice?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Got it, got it, and neither of us like cranberry juice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Damn,” Harry laughed, “you’re turning into my mum.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well </span>
  <em>
    <span>someone’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> gotta take care of your sorry ass,” Louis grumbled, ducking his head to hide his red cheeks. It was cute.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want anymore Sour Patch Kids?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry groaned, stomach churning at the mere idea of those particular candies.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve eaten enough Sour Patch Kids for seven lifetimes. Did you know I found another one yesterday? In the kitchen? It’s been a </span>
  <em>
    <span>week!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Harry exclaimed in distress. He had a newfound hatred for those sour-then-sweet sons of bitches.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you to slow down on them! I bet you don’t like ICEES anymore either.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At that, Harry perked up. “Oh no, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely</span>
  </em>
  <span> still like those. Can you-?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry grinned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All right, try not to die while I’m gone!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll try!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the door closed, Harry realized that his stomach had probably been churning from butterflies, </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>the mention of candy. Stupid feelings.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>~~~</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“Guess what’s for dinner!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm… is it that chicken parma ham thing? ...Again?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis scoffed, peeking his head into the living room. “I don’t think I can eat anymore of that shit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry agreed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, I ran out of ideas.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis walked out of the kitchen holding two bowls of Froot Loops.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve outdone yourself, Chef Tomlinson!” Harry exclaimed, making grabby hands for the cereal. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It took </span>
  <em>
    <span>hours</span>
  </em>
  <span> of preparation, lots of blood, sweat, and tears went into this dish.” Louis stated as a matter of factly. “You better enjoy it, Styles.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry ate a spoonful of the colorful little circles, eyes lighting up in mock delight. “Louis! This is- </span>
  <em>
    <span>incredible!</span>
  </em>
  <span> You </span>
  <em>
    <span>must</span>
  </em>
  <span> share your recipe with me!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tutting, Louis shook his head. “I shan’t! My secret recipe lives closer to my heart than any mere mortal could ever know!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry tossed a Froot Loop at Louis, nailing him in the nose.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re ridiculous.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis grinned, taking a large bite of cereal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you love it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I really fucking do…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Their night was spent eating too much cereal and watching too many Marvel movies. It wasn’t too late yet and Harry was dying to get out of the house, so he suggested that they go to the park.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>sick,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Haz.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry rolled his eyes, “I’m feeling much better though! Don’t you think some fresh air would be </span>
  <em>
    <span>good </span>
  </em>
  <span>for me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dunno. I’m not a doctor, am I?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh come onnnn, let’s go!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not leaving any room for argument, Harry shot up and dragged Louis with him. They were dressed and leaving the apartment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a pleasant night out, the stars somewhat clear in the pitch black sky. Students milled about everywhere, probably going home after class, or maybe going out with their friends. Harry saw a few couples cuddled up on stone benches or walking hand and hand on sidewalks. Harry wished he was one of them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry took in everything around him with awe; he felt like he had been locked up in a prison cell and had finally been freed. He could feel Louis watching him with a fond sort of amusement, and it just made Harry wish </span>
  <em>
    <span>they</span>
  </em>
  <span> were one of those couples even more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, they made it to the park. The playground was deserted, but people were still walking around everywhere. Most of the benches were full, but Harry found one far in the back that was empty. It was surrounded by trees blooming the most beautiful colors, giving off the most fragrant smells. If he looked up, he could clearly make out the constellations.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That one’s Cassiopeia,” Harry muttered, pointing up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s her story?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not a very happy one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis laughed softly. “They never are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well- Cassiopeia was a queen, a very beautiful one. She was proud of her beauty though and boasted that she was more beautiful than the Nereids, the sea nymphs. Enraged, the Nereids turned to Poseidon, who was married to one of them, and demanded that he did something. To appease Poseidon and the Nereids, Cassiopeia had to sacrifice her daughter, Andromeda, to the sea monster, Cetus.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry paused momentarily, watching Louis’ expression. His head was thrown back, Cassiopeia’s stars reflecting in his pale blue eyes. He looked ethereal. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does Andromeda live?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry smiled, “Yes, actually. She does. The hero Perseus saves her, and they fall in love and get married.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait,” Louis interrupted, face screwed up in confusion, “like Percy Jackson?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry laughed, “Well, Perseus </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>Percy Jackson’s namesake, but no, not him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nodding, Louis returned his gaze to the stars. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyways, the wedding didn’t go very well-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course it didn’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“-because one of Andromeda’s previous suitors, Phineus, claimed he had the right to marry Andromeda. This of course resulted in a fight, Perseus winning by using Medusa’s head to turn everyone to stone. Sadly, he also ended up killing Cassiopeia and her husband, the king.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s… depressing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. It kind of is. But Andromeda and Perseus ended up finding love. So not everything was hopeless.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis seemed to mull that over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who put her in the sky, then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Poseidon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis raised an eyebrow in shock. “Really? Even though he made her sacrifice her own daughter?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, it wasn’t for a good reason. Cassiopeia is condemned to circle the celestial pole for all eternity. For half the year, she is upside down as a punishment for her vainful ways. Guess Poseidon did it as a cruel joke.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were right. That wasn’t very happy at all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry laughed, joining Louis in looking up at the stars. They were pressed thigh to thigh, nearly cheek to cheek, and it was hard for Harry to think properly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like to focus on Andromeda and Perseus more. Better to focus on the hopeful parts.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis went silent, tensing up a bit. Harry moved his eyes to the side, finding Louis already looking at him. The moon shone brightly overhead, illuminating Louis’ features. He looked like the </span>
  <em>
    <span>real</span>
  </em>
  <span> Greek god here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so beautiful,” Louis whispered, reaching his left hand over to gently hold Harry’s cheek. Harry stopped breathing, heart thumping painfully in his throat. Well<em> that </em> was unexpected.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before Harry could work out what to say, Louis was picking his head up, bringing Harry’s with him. With the hand on his face, Louis slowly brought them closer, closer, closer, until their noses were brushing. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Holy shit holy shit holy shit holy-</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I kiss you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis asked so quietly that Harry wasn’t even sure he’d spoken, but the way he was staring at his lips…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry made some embarrassing squeaking noise, eyed widening and head nodding frantically. <em>No way was this actually happening-</em></span>
</p><p>
  <span>And… Louis kissed him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis fucking Tomlinson, </span>
  <em>
    <span>kissed</span>
  </em>
  <span> him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry was sure he was dreaming.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was so gentle, so soft and caring and full of love that Harry could feel his heart melting in his chest. Louis brushed his thumb against his cheek in a caress so sweet that Harry stopped thinking. Their lips moved together in perfect unison, so soft and tender that Harry felt like he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>flying</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unsure of what to do with his hands, Harry let him awkwardly hand by his sides. He probably looked like an idiot, but he was too happy to care. Louis was </span>
  <em>
    <span>kissing him!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>When Louis pulled away, Harry pulled him right back in. Louis let out a surprised, slightly muffled laugh, but he allowed himself to be kissed again. Harry was already addicted to the feeling of his lips, and it was only their second kiss. Louis was just so addicting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, </span>
  <em>
    <span>finally,</span>
  </em>
  <span> they had to pull back to breath. Huge, stupid grins graced both of their faces. Harry had been waiting for that for </span>
  <em>
    <span>years</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How long?” Louis asked, slightly stunned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Probably since I was thirteen…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Louis groaned, hiding his face in his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve liked me for </span>
  <em>
    <span>that long</span>
  </em>
  <span> and I didn’t know? I’ve been crushing on you for ages too- we’re dumbasses.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry burst into a fit of loud, loud laughter. He felt so relieved, like an immense weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He also felt mildly stupid for pining after Louis for so long when he felt the same way, but oh well. They got there eventually. That was all that mattered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry kissed Louis again, over and over again. Now that he could, he would </span>
  <em>
    <span>never</span>
  </em>
  <span> stop. Kissing Louis was about to become his favorite pastime. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stayed out on that bench for hours, Harry pointing out constellations and telling their stories, Louis recounting moments from their childhood and asking Harry if he’d liked him then or not…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At one point, two girls came out to the park. One held a guitar case and the other had a microphone and tiny speaker. They quickly gathered a crowd around them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girl had a lovely voice and she sang every song to the girl playing the guitar as if she’d hung all the stars in the sky. The girl on the guitar looked back at the other with such affection that it gave </span>
  <em>
    <span>Harry</span>
  </em>
  <span> butterflies. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Harry dragged Louis over to them, joining the other students in listening. The pair started up a cover of </span>
  <em>
    <span>La Vie En Rose</span>
  </em>
  <span> and Harry was positive that he was living in a romance movie.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hold me close and hold me fast</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This magic spell you cast</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This is la vie en rose</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When you kiss me heaven sighs</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And though I close my eyes</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I see la vie en rose</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Louis stood behind Harry, wrapping himself up against his back. He rested his chin on Harry’s shoulder, the most love sick smile on his face. They swayed gently to the music, Harry lacing his fingers through Louis’. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When you press me to your heart</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m in a world apart</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A world where roses bloom</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And when you speak, angels sing from above</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Everyday words seem to turn into love songs</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As they swayed together, Harry’s life seemed to flash before his eyes. He remembered their first trip to the amusement park, he remembered the day Louis gave him their matching bracelets that they store wore all these years later, he remembered all of their friends and their fights and the football games and the falling in love…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He remembered Gemma’s relentless teasing. He remembered his mother’s knowing looks. He remembered everything Zayn had told him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It seemed the entire world had known before they had.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But that was ok, because they knew now. They had each other in every imaginable way possible, and Harry knew nothing would ever change that. Harry would never lose Louis again, not for anything. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Give your heart and soul to me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And life will always be</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>La vie en rose.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were inseparable. Two peas in a pod. They were best friends who just so happened to fall madly in love with each other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shit, they were the motherfucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>dream team</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>WOW! It finally happened!! I'm actually pretty happy with this chapter, I love talking about the constellations and I adore this song so it was perfect. Thank you to everyone who stuck with me through this, y'all have no idea how happy your kind words and feedback makes me. It honestly means the world! There WILL be one more chapter, a sort of epilogue, because I just have to write this part. It should be fun. Anyways, I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter! Love y'all!!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'd love to hear your thoughts :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>